Frustrated and Powerless

I've been in a relationship for 6 years and have been engaged for a year. I'm 23 years old and I have sex about once a month when I would prefer every day.  I feel that I am in a  sexless relationship with a man that is truly the very best friend that I have ever had. It's strange because we are so good for each other. We are different in so many ways, but the same when it comes to all the important things, or so I thought until two years ago when I started getting the cold shoulder in bed. I just don't know if I can take the rejection much longer. I am always the one that has to initiate sex, and usually I get rejected. It's getting to point where I get angry at him and tell myself that I am just not going to initiate it anymore and that I will reject him when he finally makes a move. That day never comes so eventually I give in and then hate myself after because now he still has all the power and i'm not getting any for another month! I am seriously frustrated and pissed off. When I try to talk to him about it, he really doesn't have an answer as to why we don't have sex more, it's like he doesn't even care that I am sexually on fire and about to have a breakdown.

jenny2300 jenny2300
22-25
2 Responses Mar 25, 2009

Get counseling. He may be frozen because of anger (about you or about life), or depression, or many other reasons. Or he may have a health issue that makes sex difficult or worrisome. A counselor can help you figure out what the issue is and if he is willing to work on it. Don't just be patient. I did and it didn't do me any good. In fact, it tore me up.

I understand how you feel I try to do teh same thing and always break down and initiate sex with him. It is so hard becuase none of myfriends have never dealt with this. I wonder soemtimes if I should just go ahead and marry him becuase he is so amazing in every other wau and no one can have everything and I struggle with the idea of scraficing that so I can have everything else. But we are both so young I wonder if I can really go through my whole life this way?