I'm Screwed

Tonight, my mother came over-she's crashing at my place because her home life is intolerable at this time. She has an alcohol problem (tstl) and wants my help with it. She brought her two dogs (whom I adore) with her. They aren't even supposed to be here because they're over the 35 lb. limit. Did I mention I live in Hell-elderly and disabled housing?

While walking the dogs, a woman struck up a conversation with me. I mentioned it was good to talk to someone friendly, or to that effect. She proceeded to tell me that this place is really for the elderly, but recently, they've let in some young people with real issues. In a way that conveyed they (me) were an unwelcome element.

My mother was drunk, heard this and started ripping up a few plants out of anyone's view. I was in shock, really, told her to stop but honestly-it was kinda funny.

Hours later, someone bangs on my dooor. The woman from before. She was freaking out-asking if my mother was still here (I said "no," later my mother came out of bed and started shouting "close the door"), she didn't know I lived here, etc., and that some ladies worked really hard planting those. I told her I was sorry and I'd replant them tomorrow, she told me not to bother, it had already been done. Before leaving, she said if she ever sees this again, she'll call the police (went on about being connected to police force) or break my mother's arms.

I have to live here now. Things were bad enough before. I hate conflict. I don't know if I should go apologize to the women whose plants they were or if that will just make things worse. I am PisseD at my mother, but she won't even remember this in the morning. Also, it's easy for her to blow it off since her life is so much worse (a direct quote).

Any feedback is much appreciated. I know there are a lot of things wrong in this post, but I am wondering what to do to mend things with the neighbors. Thanks. 


Etesian Etesian
31-35, F
5 Responses Jul 2, 2007

Oh sweetie... I know running isn't an answer but it may be worth a thought. I've had to write my father off for his drinking... when my son was born and he just wouldn't try I said good-bye. A few months back I gave my mother the same option... although a happy drunk I just couldn't watch anymore. My entire family lives within a four mile radius and I haven't seen them in months. Sometimes you need to take care of you before you can help the rest. It looks like you've gained yourself a great support team here so come back and vent anytime. MMUUAAHH!!

Well, I don't know if this helps pr not, but if my mom gets out of control, I dump her beer out. no ifs ands or buts. She is out of your house, but she is still drinking. You can't do anything thing about that, but under your roof your rules. At least that is my approach. She knows it too. A may be an A-hole, but I have rules in place and the can't be broken unless I want them to. She won't stop. She will drink herself to death. I've made peace with that years ago. She just isn't taking me with her...

argh! well thankfully you got the situation with the 'lady' mended. as for the peeper ... well uh that's another story and one which i'd have NO tolerance for. i'd definitely call the police regarding this problem if it persists. your mom ... umm ... i grew up with something of the sort. it's miserable and there's never life without drama or complications. not to mention your brother ... well for what it's worth, this is my opinion. you have your own problems and do NOT need to be taking on the rest of the world's issues even if they are your family! PERIOD! how in the h3ll can you help them if you aren't 'ok' yourself? *sighs* i'd like to choke your mother and your lil bro! but that's beside the point. keep us updated and in the mean time do your best to hang on to your last shreds of sanity (at least that's how i would feel.) lol

Thank you! The drama deepens. I was hoping to win that ridiculously expensive lottery and share the wealth with my some of my peeps. grr. I know money is not the answer but it could ease the situational depression enough to make a dent in the real one. <br />
I hope things get better for us soon, too. I can't take much more of this. <br />
The drama gets more. . . dramatic. I saw the woman again and apologized, she apologized for overstepping her boundaries. etc., all was "Kumbaya," until she told me to watch out-*"someone" has been looking in my window.* I found out who it was (a guest of one of my ******* neighbors). I confronted the neighbor and went ballistic on him. Do Not Worry-I could and would kick this guy's *** when I see him. But, it was more than a little disconcerting, since I tend toward paranoia anyway. And, I'm thinking this chick is gonna go nutz over weed picking and keep the peeping-tom thing to herself. This is why feminism failed, has failed, and will always fail.<br />
Meanwhile, in dysfunction junction, my mother finds a stranger living in her house, partying like there's no tomorrow with my brother, whom she tried to have committed. Again. She actually asked me to sign the paper once before (you need two signatures), which made me furious (at her for even asking-no matter, he's my little bro.) Anyway, since she couldn't have his civil rights taken away, now he's back at her house again. Loving that middle ground thing.<br />
She dropped the girl off at the train, gave her $20. Oh yeah, and she drank. Did I mention I'm supposed to be her private nurse? No, seriously. <br />
I feel like a helping verb. Other than that. I am useless and cannot stand alone.<br />
What's drama without the self-pity. *chokes on bitterness*

Apix I'm so sorry you have to deal with that kind of trauma drama. I've spent a long time in structured housing, now I live in the "projects'. I hope things go better for us soon.<br />
faithfully yours' puck61