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The Challenge

You say the man is the boss. You say you are submissive sexually. I have the ultimate challenge. My wife and I had this conversation a few years ago. I sat her down one night and told her what I wanted. Now please understand, I told her what I wanted. Think about your man sitting you down and having this conversation. The old saying goes, “He Who Dares, Wins”. I wish I would have taken a picture of her face; she was shocked, confused, and turned on at the same time. Your challenge is to tell your man that you want this. I asked for it, and received it. Your challenge is to give it without being asked.

Women in the modern age have learned through pop culture, books, or from other women, that sex is the ultimate weapon. Want a new car, hubby says no, cut him off for a few weeks, and he will be willing to buy you a Lexus. He spent to much time with the boys, give him the cold shoulder in bed, he will learn when to be home. The man “through learned behavior” becomes some wimp who begs for sex and affection. Women want a man; they are not attracted to wimps. The more he begs, the less respect and attraction the women have for him. It is a vicious spiral. The end result is a divorce, a sexless marriage, or cheating by one or both parties.

Your challenge is to tell your man that you are not going to use sex as a weapon. Sit down with your husband and tell him you love him, and you want to give him the ultimate gift. Your gift is your body. Explain that you love him and you want to surrender your self to him. Give him complete consent to have you sexually, any time and any where. No questions asked. No need to wonder if you are in the mood. You and I both know you will be in the mood after a few minutes. After he understands what you are saying, look into his eyes, you will see his mind coming to grips with the beauty of this gift. He can have you whenever he wants. He does not need to ask. He just takes his wife when he feels attraction or an urge.
I asked my wife to keep herself as available as possible. She does not wear underwear around the house. If she wears anything to bed, it will be a gown that does not restrict me getting to her body. I will take her in the dressing room at clothing stores, while she is fixing her hair, in the car, or any where else I want to. I will walk up behind her, jerk up her skirt, bend her over, and take her whenever I want. The results of this relationship are amazing. We both seem to be Horney most of the time. She will beg for sex daily. The more we have each other, the more we want…….
ice4u ice4u 36-40, M 28 Responses Aug 29, 2010

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Wonderful! Thanks for sharing.

Ahh, but what happens when it is the husband who uses "sex as a weapon," and withholds it from his wife because he is a control freak?

The end result: she loses interest in him and looks elsewhere for sexual pleasure. sigh

If sex is being used as a weapon, love is absent, I would say. If a woman explicitly offers 24/7 sexual access to her partner, I wonder if some men are intimidated by a woman being sexually available all the time? Perhaps they lack the confidence to actually take what is being offered?

You make a couple of very good points, lefthand. Thank you. At the time it was happening I felt that we were still in love, however, you've now made me wonder.
Thank you for your sincere comment, and for giving me something to really think about.

Well, we can wonder together :) I am tossing around so many "maybe" sort of scenarios in my own mind these days. Good luck to you, too, Green Eyed Kitten

I have always wondered what was wrong with those women who deny their husbands as a punishment or to get their way. It is an alien way of thinking to most of us ladies in this group. I think this is one reason why we tend to be happier in our marriages.

I love this!

This story makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time.

I have never and will never use sex as a weapon. It is one of the most painful things that you can do in a relationship and it is the quickest way to ruin a marriage.

I know because I am a woman in a sexless marriage. My husband controls when we have sex and how often. I hate it so bad.

My boyfriend and I committed to this concept when we committed to intimacy. It has been incredibly rewarding and has led to a deep, personal connection beyond physical intimacy. Absolutely amazing.

hell no, my husband sucks in bed. I couldn't even get off if I didn't watch or read erotica before hand. Ugh he is horrible.

Now I will say that before marriage, when I was in a relationship where I was complete satisified sexually- I was pretty much a slave to him. Would, could and did whereever and whenever he wanted. His penis was like a drug to me. I could never get enough. I should have married that guy. LOL

So why didn't you marry that guy they? LOL

well because I am committed to trying to make this work. funny that they use the word committed. i feel like I should be committed sometimes for staying in this miserable thing. lol.

I would only make this observation: sexual intimacy can be what you make it. Whether a man is \"superman\" in bed or not, I would hope a person marries for love, not for their own sexual satisfaction. If a wife focuses on serving her husband, her marriage can blossom. Let her focus on pleasuring him, not on what she wants. Over time, hopefully, he will begin to focus more on pleasuring her. If not, she can find her pleasure and satisfaction in her focus on ways to please him.

I can only imagine how hurt or immasculated your husband must feel by that kind of sentiment. No disrespect intended, just saying....

OMG you spoke to my heart and soul! I think EVERY woman wants this just like you said doesn't realize it. And i also think it's a generational thing too. I know that for me I grew up when men were men and acted as such; not like "men" nowadays who act like babies. I want me a John Wayne, Cary Grant, James Bond type of man for that is the ultimate man..sexy, strong, DOMINATE! Whew...time for a cold shower!

yes we don't want to have to have a conversation about it. Really? Jut own us already men. Make us do those dirty little things that you only dream about.

I love this! That is exactly how it should be:) I do, however, have one question. Do you like for your wife to be forward with you when she wants to have sex, or do you prefer to be the person toget things going? I ask because my fiancee and I have starting living this lifestyle a few months ago and I am not sure when/if it is my place to be that forward. Thanks:)

My husband takes me whenever he wants. I don't wear panties and only skirts so that its easy for him to just walk up behind me and enter me like a man should do when they want,.

I think I'm in love. I wish my lover would take me when ever and where ever. Spontinaity is so Awesome! You have a luck wife. =) lick's and kiss's

I do this now, anyway. It's funny how once we started this we have to still make time for love making. However, I never turn him down once the time has come available to us. My body is his for the taking. My heart is an oPen book to him.

i think it's a scary thought that so much negotiating has to take place specifically... I guess I would ( naively ) like to believe that if everything else is working right in the relationship, sex will work itself out. Barring medical complications or real psychological issues, shouldn't the communication, touch, and intimacy aspects of the rest of the marriage handle the sex? I dunno... anyway, thanks for the post, ice4u

Interesting,...when you become betrothed to one another, you body is no longer yours, but for your mates pleasure. I thought that was LAW.

:)

Thanks to all of the comments, I guess I need to add a few more stories.

my wife has used sex as a weapon. the denial and such. but then she has cheated on me too. so not sure how sex is used as a weapon like that.

I would love to be in a position where we could have this but we have kids to consider. When ever we are alone my husband has me when ever he wants me and visa versa. There is an old saying: "Men are like fires they go out when they are unattended" I don't intend my husband or our marriage going out any time soon. This works for us. :o)

i love it.. makes me hot

@ bleed - *hugs* .. divorce sucks. i truly do hope that it's not too bumpy a ride for you

very true Sabrina

There is more to the relationship than just the freedom to use each others bodies. There must be mutual love, respect and trust.

Thanks for all of the comments

Wow O_O



I'm currently getting divorced for similar problems you've mentioned. Sex was used as a weapon on both sides and spiralled out of control. I'm looking for someone to take up the challenge with and find a true dom to my sub.

i obviously married the wrong man (hence i am now divorced) - i basically offered this to my then husband and he declined it. Long story short - we got divorced.

WOW.... Let me set the record straight. This was a letter I wrote to a friend. The going out with the boys the was an hypothetical example. I was trying to give an example that person could relate to. I had rather spend time with my wife not with the boys. If I want to go out somewhere, we go out as a couple. Most of the time, we go out as a family, my wife and the kids!!!

My Man and I had this conversation very early in our relationship. Personally, I believe, as Rainbowcat does, that Men and Women do not necessarily need to spend time with the "boys" and "girls" if they have a true adult relationship. In any case, my body is my Man's as well as mine, as His is mine as well as His. He is the leader in our relationship, and He also has my full permission and understanding if He feels that He needs to discipline me. Of course we respect each other a great deal and neither of us would feel right in abusing this mutual trust and love.

My hubby takes me anytime and anywhere he wants......

yes, i gave this gift to my man. he is very happy. 'nuff said... ;-))



but i will say that i do believe you might be attributing more control to women than we actually have if you think that the "cold shoulder" is a deliberate ruse _designed_ and consciously chosen _to punish_. I don't think that's true. Generally speaking, a woman who behaves like that is honestly pissed off by her man's behavior, but because the relationship is already out of whack due to the problems both the man and woman bring to the marriage (their psychological hang-ups based on the perceived need for everyone to play nice yet secretly seethe under the surface) _nothing_ is being resolved... including the man's perceived _need_ to avoid her by going out with the "boys" in the first place!



When a man is happy at home, not a lot of extra time needs to be given to "the boys," unless there's some kind of strong social club in your neighborhood and this behavior is expected, in which case, women will be out with "the girls" too. That one works both ways, I guess. I don't know. I don't live like that. I don't believe in men going out with "the boys" anymore than I believe in women going out with "the girls." What I DO believe in is people acting like grown ups and nurturing their primary relationship, since we have little enough time together as it is, what with work and other responsibilities.