He's Not Supposed To Be Superman.... But, He Is Super!I'm relatively new to the whole TiH..DD relationship. In fact I'm pretty proud that I at least know what 'TiH AND DD' stand for!!! A few months ago I had no inkling what that was or even that it was a thing at all!
I'm so proud that I found it, and searched it out!
I'm especially proud that I was able to share this with my husband (which took some doing) and that he's on board!
In this site I've noticed that many are like me and are relatively new to this dynamic of life. Many like me have lived another way for numerous years. (For me it's 21 years!)
Being submissive has not come as easy as I would have thought. Not that I am a disrespectful wife.... I'm just used to being able to 'bend' his will till it met with my ideas and plans.
Okay, so I might have to say I was a bit manipulative. Okay? Are you proud you made me admit this??
We've always had a 50/50 relationship.... but my 50% was secretly always usually about 85%.
So now here I am. A strong woman. At work I am the ''boss'' and I even work with my husband. We've always treated the job though as 50/50... though OUR bosses put me in charge and I'm the one that has to answer for everything. ~ So like I said, here I am.... I'm asking my husband to take the reigns of our relationship and I'm asking him to be my disciplinarian, and asking him to take charge and to stop me when the gremblin in my head says, ''I know better... I think you're being stupid,, I wouldn't do it that way... me,me,me,me,me''
I didn't know if he would do it first off.... but even more importantly,, I didn't know if he COULD do it. Would he be able to be authoritative enough with me? Will he follow through? Will he be consistent enough?.... All these questions kept stirring up in me. So much so, that they have actually EARNED me trips across his knee with him lecturing me to stop trying to dictate how he should respond to each and every situation. I've gotten a couple good trips across his knees for that one... it just kept coming up. I'd think... ''That's not how Anonimacy's husband would have reacted... or Michelle0001's husband would have been more strict with his punishment... Amysdaddy would have done this and that differently.''
Oh you newbies like me,,, let me tell you something..... every relationship is structured differently for each couple... and the worst thing you could do is try and sc
Now let's cut our husbands a bit of slack shall we? I mean, usually it's the wife that wants this change and has had time to contemplate the pros and cons of it before taking it to our loving husbands... Now they need time to not only digest this new style of living, but to see how it fits in with the good things that they love about our existing relationship. I mean, they want the improvements....but they also want the good stuff to stay good or get better!
It takes a long adjustment time to all this. You don't change overnight. I'm not the perfect 'submissive', and he's not the perfect 'dominant'.... but we are perfect for each other and we will find our way through this together.
So my husband ain't Superman.... that's okay... He's a Super Man in my eyes for being open and working with me on this. I really admire him. He's never been one to be bossy with me, he does have a temper... but not a violent one. He's even more in-tuned to my emotions. I used to keep things so bottled up, now he sits down and says ''tell me what's going on in that head of yours.''.... and the next thing I know I'm crying and telling him the honest truth about things...we talk and work it out right then and there.... no festering... no bad feelings.... just solutions.
Oh and it has to be said..... The sex has never been hotter!!!!
MatildaEve 41-45, F 6 Responses 20 Dec 3, 2012