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Surgery Set Back

(I apologize now. I had to copy and paste this story and it messed everything up. I tried to fix it. Sorry if things are repeated or look out of place)

My Husband will be getting surgery soon. This will effect his arm and limit a lot that he will be able do. This will not be the first surgery he's had for this. I know what to expect and I know what his limitations will be. We just started TIH and I feel this will be a set back. We both do.

We briefly talked about this and came up with this:

1. Try to do our "Bootcamp" as close to the surgery date as possible. (get us both in the right state of mind for the possible set back)
2. Switch the rules around. (since spanking will be impossible more stern talking and Time outs if needed. He said if its really bad then when he is healed there will be a major spanking coming)
3. I will need to step up. (take on what he normally does)

I know that he will need me to do more. I have no problem with this. I don't mind catering to him especially when he is not well. I just fear that I will spiral out eventually which will stress him.

When I try extra hard to hide this spiral its a bigger outburst, later on. I don't want this to happen. Has anyone else gone through this? How will this effect TIH? Any tips on how I can maintain this spiral? His surgery is same day. No hospital stays. He will be home with no use of his arm for almost 2 months. He will have PT and restrictions for some time.

I think I'm stressing myself out because I don't want to stress myself out. (UGH) I want to show him I can be strong and step up when needed.

Before TIH I would tell him when hes doing to much. (He can not sit still). I would yell at him to sit down and let me do it. I would constantly ask him if he was ok and if he wanted/needed anything. But I now realize that is Mothering him. I don't want to do that. I dont want to be pushy. I want to help and make sure he is calm. I want to do everything for him so he can just heal and rest. Is there a better way to go about this? He is just the kind of Man that does not do well being of "no use" as he puts it. He hates just sitting around.

Being new to this and not wanting a major set back. I don't know how to handle these situations. Please help me make this easier on both of us with our new D/s role.


Thank you in advance :)
silencedshy silencedshy 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 27, 2013

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Hi Sweetie,

I have been in a similar situation not too long ago. My husband had surgery last summer and was not able to do much physically.

Please feel free to message me anytime and I'll do what I can to offer suggestions and support.

Good Luck I know you can do it.

Thanks. We been through this twice before. But this will be the first time during TIH.

I understand. This was also our 3rd time around with His surgery too. I think for us this last time was the most difficult with recovery time.

You can do it. :-)

Thanks :)

Michelle gives good advice. PM any of us at any time for help, advice or to blow off steam is a great way to keep things running for you. Reminding yourself what your doing and why and most important that this will pass.

You can do this, don't over think it dear. The more you worry the more you set yourself up for stress. Put a few notes around your kitchen to remind yourself. Upbeat sayings, or whatever that will key you to be submissive or in the right mind frame.

I have had them in my kitchen forever. Ones about having a sweet tone of voice. Using positive words with the kids etc. They really do work.

Thanks jenna. I may do that :) love you girls.

Yea I am too. Almost can't help it.