We Are Working On Beginning A Taken In Hand Relaationship

For people who like to revert to something written down I think it´s great to have a contract. And then, while of course anything touching individual freedom, both mentally and physically, will not be considered legally binding, it might still become some sort of support for your lover if he had ever to defend himself against accusations from the outside. But make sure that everything you are writing down feels good and fair for both of you.

you NEED and I cant stress this enough NEED to learn about SAFE WORDS!!!! If you have one in place and DON'T use it it gives him the freedom to do and be your every thing... without guilt or worrying about whether or not he went to far! I know that you are NOT into s/m HOWEVER get the book S/M 101 and read it together... it will allow him to be your MAN. AND YOU, you will be able to experience things that you have never dreamed of... NEVER use your SAFE WORD unless you are in danger of being damaged...this will change your life forever! the safe word concept fits perfectly whiten the TAKEN IN HAND framework...

If you look at the posts above you will see why he is reluctant to spank you as hard or really dominate you, the way you need him to.



There is so much emphasis on not being too harsh that anyone who gives his woman the harsh spanking or other strong domination she needs, has to worry about going to jail for abuse just because some outsider to the relationship might decide that it was, no matter what SHE wants.



There is also the possibility that the woman will want it very harsh then turn around and get him in trouble later saying he went too far (even when in some cases she explicitly asks for it ).

Everything should be done out of love. Not anger. The difference between discipline and harming someone hurting you is where the love comes in. The first time I was truely disciplined, he cried and I cried. He cried cause he had broken his comfort zone. I cried from from feeling the release of guilt and remorse of my wrong doing. I knew tha he had forgiven me. We talked about forgiveness aferwards and how much he loved me. It took us six months to reach that point. We made alot of mistakes along the way. Everything is a learning process. Allow him to make those mistakes and Do Not criticize him for it! Keep communication going, but dont use phrases that start with you should. Or you did thus wrong. Or I didn't like... That will only hurt his ego and discourage him from the whole process. Wether or not you liked the end relults of your punishment, always thank him for it. Give him complete control. Be supportive and submissive. It will all come together for you eventually.

Well men are usually raised never to hit girls. You will probably have to really talk this out. You may have to go to a paddle or something that really stings, even when you don't hit to hard. Make sure you are in agreement. I had a taken in hand marriage for three years and I never felt abused but it is a fine line. You have to know your limits.

Well men are usually raised never to hit girls. You will probably have to really talk this out. You may have to go to a paddle or something that really stings, even when you don't hit to hard. Make sure you are in agreement. I had a taken in hand marriage for three years and I never felt abused but it is a fine line. You have to know your limits.

It has been a long begining for us as well, my husband also has fears that he will go to far but I think he doesn't go far enough. Just try to have the best communication that you can and be completly honest with each other. we I hope will get there soon.

Start slow. Focus on a few things at first, building up to a more involved rule set. I wrote down some basic rules that must be followed, or else there is punishment. The big thing about "rules" and them being written down is that you have something to go back to and refer if there is a disagreement or a misunderstanding.



There have been a few times where even i was in the wrong as the rules didn't exactly spell out what I thought they did, so no punishment for her. The thing is that during her "free-time" instead of focusing on herself, she focuses on the rules to make sure that she has completed them, thus causing her to focus on "us".



Have a review session every once in a while to make sure that things are working. Our relationship, going past twenty years has evolved drastically since the beginning. People and relationships change and only fools think that what worked in the past will continue to work in the future.



We went from being some power-exchange, to BDSM, to domestic discipline, to taken in hand. Between each of these events, we reverted back to our original relationship of partners, and then waiting until we naturally craved a new dynamic.



As far as him spanking you not hard enough, well you both have to communicate and try things out. You have to give him feedback so that he can learn what is too soft, what is too much/hard, and what is just right! My wife hates to admit it, but she enjoys a spanking. We can't play much right now, and she admitted that she missed the spanking just the other day. It reaffirmed to me that I wasn't just being an abusive *******!