Is It Time To Leave?

Long story short...I've been married for 18 years (2nd marriage for both of us). I have an older son from my previous marriage, he has two daughters and we have 1 son together. He is verbally and emotionally abusive. He is also now disabled and loves to take out his frustrations on me. He insults me, tells me I'm a bad mother, calls me fat, and calls me offensive names when he is angry. He demands respect from our son and doesn't give any in return. He expects to be respected based on the sole fact that he is his father. He is a horrible role model. He was never a good provider (never mind that he has a wealth of education and even went to medical school, but never practiced). The only times we've ever been stable and secure are when I am working and paying the bills (like now). He barely contributes to the household expenses. I pay for pretty much everything. Everything we have is because I bought it. I spend my life walking on eggshells around him. I cannot be honest with my own husband. He takes everything as an insult and continues to throw it in my face. For example, he was taking antidepressants. He is a totally different person on the meds (in a good way). He abruptly decided to stop taking them. He has turned back into the ogre he was years ago before he started taking them. He is a mean, ugly person and he doesn't care who he insults. He refuses to take his meds again. I can't go on like this anymore. My youngest son is 15 and he's all the crap that goes down between us. This is not what I want him to think a healthy marriage is like. We are setting such a bad example for him and it breaks my heart. I need to stop this now.

I will be going to counseling with my son. I don't want my husband to go with us. I don't want to continue this charade of a marriage anymore. I gave him the best years of my life, and the only worthwhile thing he gave me was my son. My oldest son was raised by his father because my husband couldn't provide a stable life for us. Because he could not keep a job, we moved a lot. I didn't want my kids to have to go through that anymore. Of course,he takes every opportunity to remind me how I "gave my son away." His own daughters don't talk to him because he never paid child support. He owes a lot of money in back support (his daughters are now adults). That will not become my problem.

I've had enough. I am biding my time and am planning to leave him. I can't do this anymore.
gizzy428 gizzy428
Oct 17, 2011