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Confused With Husband's Thinking

About 6 years ago the Man I have been married to for 24 yrs (an with for 31yrs), well we have been having troubles. He has been is Prison for 24years this year and we have sorta lost touch with each other as far as love, sex, understanding etc. It breaks my heart because I Love this man more then anything, I made a mistake about 5 years ago and did not do something he had asked me to do pertaining to his appeal work, and then I lied about it. He has lost some trust in me and sent me a letter, oh about 2 years ago and told me he was falling out of love with me, that I was more of a "sister" like to him. I have been trying for 2yrs to repair all of his mistrust in me. I am to the point where I don't want to go visit him (NOT that I don't love him), somethings do not feel the same with him. We have always been able to talk to each other and never had a communication problem, but I am as lonely as he is and after 24 yrs i am at a loss. Another thing is about 3 years ago I spent 5 weeks in the Hospital and I was very close to Death, I have limited lung breathing so I can not walk very far without resting (and a bit over weight does not help) so to go visit him I can not walk the distance it takes to go from one building to where you visit, embarasses me, so I don't even try. I love him and miss him more then any words could say, and I am not looking for pitty, just some words of encouragement from someone else who may be going thru something simular. I have learned what Prison life is all about thru him but I don't think he understands that I understand the lonelyness, sleepless nights, and the wondering everyday if he is okay. I have raised 2 great kids, which have great reputations in the community, we have 2 great daughter in laws, and 2 wonderful grandchildren. And in order to keep this family together I need to vent to someone once in awhile. So please anyone who wishes to talk, please I will talk, I am a compassionate person, good listener to. Thank you for your time.
31years2gether 31years2gether 51-55 Mar 6, 2012

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