I Am In A Quandary

I still love my husband even though we've been separated for 6 months I just can't seem to move on. We still see each other about once a month. Now I feel like I felt when we were first together. I know that I can't go back to living with him though. I don't like going out in public with him because he looks like a vagabond. I swear he could be a contender in whisker wars. UGH! He just wants to be an old hippy with no ambition nor a decent job. He wasn't like this when we were together for the first several years.

I have always been a hard worker and supported us. For a while it was nice to have a house husband and he was a great father to my son. After my son reached an age that he could take care of himself I asked him to get a job to help with our mounting debt and to save for a house of our own. He never would.

I got injured and then went into a deep depression that lasted a long time on and off. I know it was difficult for him. I saw a psychologist and have been working through my issues but he expects me to just get better at the snap of his fingers. It doesn't work that way. I'm better but I still have periods of depression.

I was also sick a lot of the time. I had a hard time functioning. (I found out later that it was environmental caused)

Now I find myself attracted to him again. Is this normal? I love the intimacy we still have. That chemical attraction. I want him to be the person he was though. I don't know if he will ever be again. I think he is depressed too and have told him this but he doesn't want to do anything about it.

Anyone else have this problem? Has anyone continued a relationship with their husband even after separation? I need advice.
firespryte firespryte
41-45, F
Nov 29, 2012