If You Wouldn't Have Said Or Done This I Wouldn't Say And Do That

This is the story of my verbally abusive marriage. I can't think of one name in the book I haven't been called. Not to mention the arguments are sometimes senseless and I am always urging him to calm down before he says something he regrets but he doesn't. Our last episode occurred because I ate all of the Thai food and as far as he was concerned It was inconsiderate. He stated that if I would have just said something like "sorry about that" it wouldn't have escalated to where it did. Like I always tell him there is never and will never be any excuse for abuse. Where is the accountability? He is so volatile sometimes. For instance this last argument, we were just laughing and enjoying one another, I went in the restroom and before I could come out I was war. But I told him earlier that I took the Thai food. I asked him how do you go insane about something that you knew happened 8 hours ago, but of course he justified that too. Its so sick to me because its like he has to get it out and then of course an apology more than likely will follow. I'm sorry I overreacted but... (insert me here) I communicated with you that way because you did... I don't even know what this is doing to me or my children because sometimes I go tongue to tongue with him and other time I just go silent. I am an active parent as both of my sons are in sports year round but no one would ever know what I go through sometimes at home. I have shared a bit with some people at our church and other close friends but ultimately I know I am the one who has to decide to stay or go. It doesn't happen everyday but , as far as I am concerned it shouldn't happen any day. I just don't understand why it is so hard to not name call or pass judgement. His mother and brother have the same temperament. Should you ever hurt their pride or feelings boy do they lash out verbally trying to intimidate anyone that stand in their way.

paj2012 paj2012
26-30, F
3 Responses May 16, 2012

GET OUT of this relationship. You deserve a beautiful life. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. Sometimes people are controlling. They will never change no matter what we become for them. So its better to save your dignity and honor the spirit within. Do it for your god and you will see the courage and strength comes to you like never before. By doing this you become a better person and a better parent for your kids. You have it in you.

I also go through the same thing, but in my situation he will actually hit you if you go tongue to tongue with him or express what you feel. He will even spit on you. I cant tell him anything because he uses it against you later to speak negative about you. I feel like I cannot talk to him, dont feel like he likes me with all the names he calls me and the physcial abuse. I am so withdrawn i dont even want to have sex. Not because i dont want to but because i feel like this person doesnt like me anyway why try or why be fake. I am so miserable but stay in this relationship and dont know why. I truely understand where you are coming from because i got through this every other day.

As I read more and more info on this, I think that my husband is emotionally abusive