Trying To Make It Real

My husband and I have been working at LDD for about 2 years now. In the beginning we were very unsure of ourselves. He was nervous about spanking me so we took it slow. He is still nervous about guiding me, being in charge, and taking the reigns. In the beginning, we needed lots of rules and punishments to keep us focused on our roles. It seemed a little contrived. This seems common in many new LDD relationships. Eventually we started focusing more on our roles and less on the spankings. We have put in some rules and activities that help me feel more submissive. I want to be led by him but I often get bossy, very independent, and I don't want to listen. I am "in charge" during the work day and struggle with letting that go when I walk in the door each evening. He too, is "in charge" at work and naturally feels he should be "in charge" at home. But we are often too worn out from our long days to be consistent at home. He let's me get away with things just because he's too tired to deal with it. Even our weekly maintenance sessions get skipped when things get too hectic. We are struggling with the consistency but still keeping at it. Sometimes we keep it on track and all seems right in the world. We seem so connected. But then we drop the ball and get lost in the stuff of our days. We are just looking for others who are where we are that can maybe support us in our journey. We hope we can find some like-minded friends here at EP.
carpeaj carpeaj
41-45, F
1 Response May 5, 2012

all couples have this problem. One way I have found to help is to have a written list of rules and expectations and every 6 months or so change some stuff up and start a new routine. <br />
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For instance, part of my wife's rules is that she needs to be kneeling naked at the end of the bed evertnight at her bedtime. One of the rule changes would be that on Friday nights she has to wear a sexy lingere or stand in the corner or any other number of tasks. <br />
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Another idea is to come up with something that you aren't 100% comfortable with but willing to try and confess that to your husband and tell him to use that as a punishment when he feels its warranted. nothing keeps the lifestyle fresh like anticipation. It could be anything from an implement you are scared of, to a sex act like a rim job to getting another girl for a *********.