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Crossing The Border



There sure seems to be a border between me and most other people and it is my
wheelchair.  Just like a double yellow line across the asphalt of a county road, the wheelchair seems to affect all aspects of social interaction for me.

I am young,  intelligent pretty, and busty.  I am completely rehabilitated after becoming a paraplegic about a year ago.  I go to the same places, do the same things, work in the same place, wear the same clothes and even the same shoes-- Everyone seems much more friendly and empathetic than before I was hurt.  But am not being asked out anymore.  Friends yes; but male companionship has become a faint recollection.

Yet nothing about me has changed about me except the wheelchair.  I look exactly as I did before I was hurt.

This weekend I crossed the border for the first time since I was hurt.  Instead of staying in my wheelchair I transferred out at every opportunity and I was amazed at the difference in how people replaced to me--guys and girls.  It is almost unbelievable the difference it makes if people don’t realize I am handicapped.

Sitting on a couch at a large party, the wheelchair folded and put away behind me, looking like a normal girl, guys approached me for the first time since I have been disabled and treated me like a normal girl. It was terrific.

Is this just how it is now?  Will the wheelchair always constitute an unbreakable psychological bar for guys no matter how pretty I look? Is there any way to get people to realize that I am fully alive and just as sensual, even if my pelvis and legs are dead?
Martha1982 Martha1982 26-30, F 3 Responses Oct 31, 2011

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I have the same problem. I think it's mainly because we look so fragil that they don't wanna "break" us or something.<br />
Or because we're different and being different is a hassle in most people's minds.

The part that bugs me the most is being left out of everything.<br />
Even the people who do hang around, act like they're doing me such a huge favor.<br />
They think I should be grateful to be dragged along, just so I can sit around watching THEM have fun...<br />
GEEZ!<br />
<br />
It's so infuriating. They obviously think I'm suddenly that pathetic...<br />
Dare to politely explain this feeling & the "normals" storm off in a huff.<br />
<br />
Imagine a cripple being so UNgrateful! That's the attitude I get a lot.<br />
<br />
I don't want to spend the rest of my life avoiding the "normals" or sitting here biting my tongue because of sheer ignorance & prejudice.<br />
<br />
BTW: I apologize for using the word "cripple". It's a word I've been hearing WAY too much.<br />
I hate that word. It makes me "less than" them. I can't tell how much of it is intentionally degrading & how much of it is merely ignorance.<br />
<br />
But it is almost comical, how they all think we have the same medical condition.<br />
<br />
Just like when people assume I'm related to every other redhead in a group. LOL

To me it wouldent matter if you are you are in a wheelchair or not but i guess some people think other wise you will find some one adventuly You just need to find someone who will see past the wheelchair and see you for who you are