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Scared

it's been 3 weeks since I've been in the hospital for not being able to walk. it started with a pain in my lower right abdomen and the doctors thought it was appendicitis. It wasn't. they sent me home with nothing but Tylenol. a week later the pain moved from my abdomen to my lower back and up my spine. 2 days later it i started having tingling in my hands (like that sleeping feeling) then i couldn't squeeze toothpaste, open water bottles, even hold an empty cup. I thought it was just a week thing and it would go away, of course it didn't. while this is happening the same thing started in my legs and now it had gotten to a point where i have to swing my hips to move. I use a walker in my house to get around but i have to use all my energy to walk 6 steps. 6 steps. you never think of walking as something you have to concentrate on but for me it is. When i go out of the house i use the wheel chair. I hate the way people look at me and treat me like i have a disease. so what i'm in a wheelchair. I have the same hair, face, personality. I still crack jokes and i still love.

I'm not sure if i'll be "back to normal" but secretly i don't mind. I like being different. sure it's hard: can't reach things, have to rely on others for certain things, having people look at me 24/7, and worst of people being rude. They don't open doors or hold it for me, don't ask if i need help.

I know people are scared to ask and don't want to hurt my feelings but that doesn't mean they can't talk to me. right?
I don't want to be alone. I'm scared that i'll be alone forever.
notsuregirl notsuregirl 18-21 3 Responses Apr 3, 2012

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I know how you feel and I hope you are learning how to live I hate the stares and some people help me now and then but rarely and I hate the thing I was the same person i was 5 minutes before i was in the hospital and i still the same out of the hospital but I have learned to live my life and to love my life and don't be scared just find friends who really stay with you and won't leave you behind like one of my best friends was in a car accident and is also in a wheelchair But find someone who you like to be with and makes you feel great and makes you smile!!! Try to love the life you have!!!

I'm sorry you feel that way, and you won't be alone forever! There are many bright, shining stars of people both online and off who will treat you just like anybody else (because you are like anybody else: you just sit a whole lot!). I know it sucks now, but just don't worry and be strong.

Some guys like a vulnerable girl to take care of... (most of them are creeps tho)... lol but u'll probably find someone.. pm me if u feel like chatting