My Baby Has To Witness It All

Make up is my best friend. Every morning I wake up and look into the mirror only too see one more bruise than there was yesterday. I flinch in pain as I apply my pounds of make up to cover it up. A tear falls down my cheek as I have to face that this is my reality. I am scared for my life, if I leave he will find me. I love him I really do. When things are good they are really really good, but when things are bad they are really really bad. It has been bad for a while now.

When I met him, he charmed me, made me feel special, gave me the love that all little girls dreams of... As time went on I fell madly in love with him, I felt like I couldn't live without him. I was only 16, but I knew he was the one for me. The only one I wanted to have in my life. When I became legally able to marry, he proposed.. I said yes. Our wedding was beautiful, it was exactly what I wanted. He never showed me his true colors. I found out I was pregnant a month after we got married. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.. It was like the baby put too much responsibility and stress on him and he snapped. He began drinking more often, leaving home for days at a time, and started using drugs. Things went from bad to worse after that. He would come home drunk and high and beat the hell out me.

A part of me wants to leave, but the other part of me wants to stay. I want to stay because I do love him, he is the father of my child. I want my baby to have his mom and dad in his life, but I know him seeing his dad beat up his mom and treat her the way he does isn't doing any good for my baby. I just love this man so much, I made vows to him that I plan to keep... but I can't stand to know that my baby will have to witness this.

I feel like I have my back against a wall and no where to go. I don't know what to do to make things right.
buggabooLOVE buggabooLOVE
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 22, 2013

Everyone has their breaking point, you just haven't reached it yet. Abusive relationships are not normal or healthy. I think reaching out is the best thing you can do. He will eventually teach your son to be the same way. All people especially women deserve a loving healthy relationship.

get away from him as fast as you can,,before he goes into a rage and kills you,,