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My Baby Has To Witness It All

Make up is my best friend. Every morning I wake up and look into the mirror only too see one more bruise than there was yesterday. I flinch in pain as I apply my pounds of make up to cover it up. A tear falls down my cheek as I have to face that this is my reality. I am scared for my life, if I leave he will find me. I love him I really do. When things are good they are really really good, but when things are bad they are really really bad. It has been bad for a while now.

When I met him, he charmed me, made me feel special, gave me the love that all little girls dreams of... As time went on I fell madly in love with him, I felt like I couldn't live without him. I was only 16, but I knew he was the one for me. The only one I wanted to have in my life. When I became legally able to marry, he proposed.. I said yes. Our wedding was beautiful, it was exactly what I wanted. He never showed me his true colors. I found out I was pregnant a month after we got married. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.. It was like the baby put too much responsibility and stress on him and he snapped. He began drinking more often, leaving home for days at a time, and started using drugs. Things went from bad to worse after that. He would come home drunk and high and beat the hell out me.

A part of me wants to leave, but the other part of me wants to stay. I want to stay because I do love him, he is the father of my child. I want my baby to have his mom and dad in his life, but I know him seeing his dad beat up his mom and treat her the way he does isn't doing any good for my baby. I just love this man so much, I made vows to him that I plan to keep... but I can't stand to know that my baby will have to witness this.

I feel like I have my back against a wall and no where to go. I don't know what to do to make things right.
buggabooLOVE buggabooLOVE 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 22, 2013

Your Response


I have been through this. If you love him you must do the right thing for you and your son. Here to talk if you want. Xx

Everyone has their breaking point, you just haven't reached it yet. Abusive relationships are not normal or healthy. I think reaching out is the best thing you can do. He will eventually teach your son to be the same way. All people especially women deserve a loving healthy relationship.

get away from him as fast as you can,,before he goes into a rage and kills you,,