Confused As Efff

I am so depressed right now I feel like filling the tub and electrocuting myself but I won't because I know how much my loved ones love me and how sad theyd be without me. I am so depressed right now because I am getting tired of arguing with my boyfriend all the time, who is a little abusive and I am also starting to have feelings for my ex again who hurt me so bad the first time yet hes the only person who cares to try cheer me up right now. I feel like **** I shouldnt even be talking to him but who else can I talk to that wont be so judgmental about how I feel about my boyfriend and why I love him so much even though he chokes me and fights me from time to time.
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Jan 23, 2013