I Can't Get Away

I have been with my boyfriend for four years now, and I finally realized after3 years that this is an addicting relationship. We are both way too dependant on each other. We used to break up CONSTANTLY, and we would go 3-4 days without talking or seeing each other and every time he would start blowing up my phone, my facebook, showing up at my house crying and begging me to get back with him. Of course I always did because I'm so in love with him. Things would be so wonderful whenever we got back together, he would be the boyfriend that I want and need. That never lasts though, he always goes back to how he is.

I've pretty much accepted the fact he will never change, but I still love him very much. I feel like I'm losing my sanity (or what's left of it anyways). Every time we break up I tell my friends that I'm not getting back with him, but they all know that I always do. I just want out of this relationship. I do want to be with him, but I can't if he continues to act like this. Sometimes I feel loved, but other times I feel miserable and alone.

I honestly believe that I don't know how to have a healthy relationship... and it scares me. I just want to be alone and be okay with it.
sillyginger sillyginger
22-25, F
3 Responses Apr 16, 2011

jshousee- it's horrible isn't it? sometimes i feel like there is something wrong with me because i can't just get over him like everyone says to. it makes me feel so weak, powerless, and pathetic. doesn't it make you not want to get another relationship? i feel like what is the point... it goes great at first then it always turns to **** pretty much. it's definitely the feeling of security and stability and being comfortable with that person. you are definitely not alone girl, if you ever need to vent or just talk send me a message or IM me on here. i know how hard it is, especially when you don't really have anyone to talk to or relate to.<br />
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founddown- funny you mention that because i have said same thing so many times. i always say i feel like i'll never leave him for good if i live near him. i feel like the only way i can leave him and not get back with him is to move to another state. i told him before when we fighting i was going to move in with my mom (which is way up north) and he said he would follow me if it was okay just to make sure i'm alright because he worries about me so much. i know i have my own problems so i can't completely blame him, i just get so angry and hurt sometimes.

Move to a new tow and don't tell anyone where you've gone. I know that sound hard but it may be time for you to grow up and going from girl to woman ( or boy to man is) hard. Good luck.

you commented on a story of mine and i very much appreciated it, so i checked you out, annd saw this. <br />
i feel as if i wrote it myself.<br />
gosh i cant get away either.<br />
i bet the world is screaming at you to, but you cant. because you know you love him, theres obviously a reason you do. <br />
i feel you, like all of it. i want to be alone too. but you need the comfort of someone loving you. idk. its alot, and i know it is. so you cant bring yourself to do it.<br />
im trying to find someone i can relate to, because i feel like i cant relate to anyone. all of my friends, are having the best of times.<br />
im so scatterbrained, cant figure out what im trying to say to you.