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Large Age Gap And Happy :)

Hello -- I am 22 years old and in a very loving and happy relationship with a 62 year old man. We've been together for two years now. It wasn't always easy (just like any relationship), but we've stuck together and got through the rough patches, and now it has evolved into a very stable, committed, and caring relationship. We are starting to (seriously) talk about marriage and children!

Whenever I think about our large age difference being abnormal or strange, I just think about how I see all of these "normal" couples around me, who feign happiness and stability, only to find out that, behind the curtains, they are really miserable, separating, cheating on their spouses, etc. My conclusion is, if your happy, that's all that matters -- not your age!
leafonthewind leafonthewind 22-25, F 11 Responses Oct 22, 2011

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I think you'll find the most unhappy people, who are prone to failure themselves, are the ones must judgmental. Ignore them and let them wallow in their misery. When they see you happy and successful in your relationship, who's the winner then?

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Guaranteed str8 relationships do better with age gap than Gay.
Big problem is Gay men are a group with a low life expectancy,
so if you're 20 dating a 40-year-old and Gay, statistics show that,
sad to say, the 40 year old is near the upper end of his lifespan.
The 20 year old can't plan on spending the next 40 years with
his B/F because while its possible its quite rare in the Gay life-
style. I am 43 and my B/F is 32. I am a health nut and have never
practiced promiscuous or risky sex. I've never smoked or used
drugs. I eat healthy and get plenty of rest and exercise. 3 near
relatives have lived to 100 and over, so I have a better chance
of living longer than the average Gay man. But this is unusual.

Exactly! I couldn't articulate the words better than you did. People are so self righteous and judgmental, yet if you examine their lives they are steeped in immorality themselves. Some of the biggest sinners are the biggest judges. Don't worry about what others say. They must be pretty unhappy if they need to medal and judge your life. If you find your own happiness, that's what matters.

I'm 20 years old, married to sweet gentleman 63 years old, we're happily married , but have ups and down , that's normal , there's no perfect marriage :)

I am about to marry a man who is 56 and I am 28. I am so glad to hear that others out there are also happy with their age-gap relationship. Lately I've been getting judgements by friends as my fiance gets older (and more gray). It's been hard with the wedding coming up. Some of my aunts make jokes behind my back about how "old" my fiance is. They call him "Moses." It is been hard to deal with all the outside judgement. But from the inside, things are wonderful. We agree on almost everything except children. We are getting there though. He's not opposed to having a baby, but we want to make sure we are settled into our new home and happily married before we take on that next challenge.

Ignore the cruel jokes, and focus on your loving relationship! I wish you the best in your marriage!

Thanks :-)

Don't worry what miserable unhappy people say about you. They're probably steeped in immorality themselves and have no room to judge.

I would hate to be you, because you will lose your husband much sooner since he's so much older than you. This is the only reason I wouldn't date someone that old. I am attracted to men of that age, but I feel that these relationships can be very painful for this reason. Nevertheless, I think it's wonderful you've found each other and wish the best for you and your boyfriend :)

(sorry if my comment was depressing)

May your years together be happy!

I am 20 dating a 62- year old, very similar also. I feel so much better that I am not the only one who is dating such a large gap. If you have any advice on making the relationship last, I would love to hear!

I think the best advice is to know you're in good company. People like you have been around for many years. In the pre-modern era (pre 20th century) marriages like yours were far more commonplace than you think. Sometime between then and the Internet age you had to live in a "modern" society with its conformity to social norms without a venue to meet like-minded people. Now you have an outlet, and are meeting many more people like you than you thought existed. You're finding out that there's nothing wrong with your desire after all. More power to you!

I am 21 dating a 61-year old, so quite similar to you. I guess we'll see how it goes.

Your conclusion is right but you have to except the pit falls that come with dating someone much older.<br />
Like not having the same views on things, sexual problems that may occur as he gets older or fathering children late in the game. I met my boyfriend when I was 24 and he was 46 and were still happily together. I'm now 40 and he's 62