Help. Can't Take The Scrutiny Any More (30 year Gap). About To Have A Nervous Break Down.

I can't do it any more.

I'm a full grown adult, yes. And very mature for my age. For most of my 20's, I have always had problems relating to people my age. My hobbies, interests, and even style of 'partying' just doesn't match up. I've always enjoyed the company of people at least a few generations over me. It's just how it has always been. And so, this is my second 'age gap relationship'. I'm 28, and Mark is recently turned 60.

I met him when I moved to Colorado from Missouri and moved into a 'room mate' situation. I live on a rather large ranch where many young professionals work and live. I myself am a photographer. There is something about men my age that just fails to attract me. I'm not sure if it's the constant use of "what up bro" or "what's up man", the fakeness and ingenuity during interaction, or the constant need to be 'cool' 'in the loop' and 'hip', but guys my age royally turn me off with their composure. My parents brought me up to have old school vales, and to live my life according to buddhist aspirations. I have compassion for all walks of life and all people. I would never not hang out with some one because they were 'different', for example. Young people are constantly competing to see who's most popular and desirable. They're constantly snapping photos with facebook in the back of their mind, rather than living life with valuable meaning. This is just my opinion.

One huge problem with our age gap is that although I'm 28, I look like I'm 18. I can't help that. I have asianic features, high cheek bones, and am very beautiful (NO I am not tooting my own horn, I am just being honest). I come from an educated background, Mark is a construction worker with a heart of gold, and a beautiful compassionate spirit. I have never met some one so beautiful. We are completely and hopelessly in love.

Right now Mark is in the hospital for cancer. Our story goes back three years ago however. For three years, I have put up with nothing but cruel reactions from the public. I'm writing to vent, and to hopefully hear some replies from women who are dealing with the same treatment as I. I am constantly receiving the cold shoulder, rude comments under people's breaths, and constant meanness from people who just don't understand our relationship. We "look" like an odd couple because of the 30 year age gap. At times, it's comical and it's easy to let such cruel treatment roll off your shoulders because you're happy and you know you're untouchable. But at times, like when your sweetheart is dying of cancer in the hospital, and even the nurses treat you like crap/dirt because they know you're in an age gap relationship that seems to just royally offend them - you go home crying your heart out - spirit broken - no support - no friends.

Our relationship has literally isolated me from quality friends.

Is there any one else out there who deals with constant rudeness from the public? Women in particular? Mark doesn't seem to deal with it at all, as the fact he is 60 grants him automatic respect from people. They would never tell him how they feel about it or even show it in their body language. However when the spotlight is on me, I'm the one who takes the constant cruelty from people.

I am so tired. So tired of the heart ache and my spirit being crushed from not being accepted.

What are you stories? Who can relate to this?
RiverSoul RiverSoul
26-30, F
5 Responses Jan 23, 2013

Dear RiverSoul, I am sorry that the public gives their opinion and treat you differently. If you two love each other, who cares what they say or think. "Live your life to the fullest, till it overflows."

I can absolutely relate.
I'm in a relationship with a 30 year age gap too and am in constant fear because my partner has cancer in his bloodline. I have lost so many friends over being with him, but I know that he is the one for me, and we are talking about marriage.
Luckily though, his friends are willing to support us and are always very cheery with me- but in the streets or in the airport (we're in a long-distance relationship. I'm from Western Canada, he's from Southern England) people will stare and mutter under their breath. When I was kissing him good bye once a group of people my age started to loudly declare how 'disgusting' it was.

My man and I met when I was spending a year in Belgium. He was a member of the organisation who had sponsored me to go abroad. They had arranged an event near to the city that he lived, so he naturally attended and when I saw him I almost instinctively knew that we were going to be together. But from the get-go other people tried to keep us apart (I guess our spark was very visible) and we had to wait until my time in Belgium was finished to see each other again. That was almost a year ago now, and we are still absolutely mad for each other. My father has finally come to terms with it and is positive that we'll be married within the next two years.

If you need to talk to anybody, or just vent, feel free to send me a message.

I see myself in your story... We have 35 years of age difference.We are living together since 5 years, but knowing each other even more.We started like Lo and Humbert.. crazy stuff.. Today I feel so helpless too.. I wanted to stop this relation 1000 of times,but never could..I'm just 26 and totally lost.Feel free to message me.I'd be glad.

I am too in a age gap relation ship im 19 and the man I've been with for awhile now is 43 I love him unconditionally. we to got the "Cold shoulder" and the mean looks when we went places together at first yes it was hard to cope with but then when I realized this man was truly the love I'd been looking for nothing else mattered however im not exactly in the same situation as you I do know how you feel our 24 year age gap has caused extremely awkward moments for us. Feel free to message e if you would like too talk.

I am in 2 age gap relationships, I am 23 and my boyfriend is 40. It can be hard for us sometimes cuz people seem to think its wrong. I don't! I love him and he loves me, we have a son together and his other 2 kids. One of them will be 17 soon. My second age gap relationship is my 58 year old slave. Yes slave (willing) and I find not many people find that relationship weird at all. lol! I dont know what the difference is but I get different responses with each of them. I hope this helps. Feel free to message me if you wanna talk. Yes I know its not normal to have 2 age gap relationships at the same time but I love them both!