My Relationship

There are 7 years between my boyfriend and I. Though hardly considered an age-gap to some, it does pose a problem in general with the way my father looks at the relationship as well as the reactions we sometimes get from people, especially because i look even younger than my actual age. We have been together 6 months and love each other dearly, but especially with the dissapproval of my father and older brother, it has been tough.
ivywinter ivywinter 19-21, F 5 Responses Aug 27, 2007

Your Response


Well I will suggest your father will never accept it until he interacts with the guy for a while. Until then all he knows is the age difference. What you tell him are just words. He needs to meet him to see that he is not an age but a person. I am not saying it will be easy or painless, but I believe nothing will change until then.

Small steps forward are encouraging. At 23 and 30 I really don't think your age should be an issue :)

I think you have the right attitude and Im sure your father's love for you will encourage him to see the big picture eventually.

Much Love

x x x

At this point, I am 23 and he is 30. We are still together (we will be celebrating 3 years in February) and my father still, over all this time, has made no interest in meeting him. At this point, I am over it. I am happy with my boyfriend, ecstatically so, and I will continue to live my life with or without my father's support. I've come to a much better place over the past couple of years since I made this post.

I'd rather not have the opposition, but I'm slowly learning that the choice is not up to me (especially after trying so many times to get my father to give me a day and time to meet him and he kept putting it off), it's up to my father. And I still have the choice to remain with the person who makes me feel complete.

My father has, however, come around to talking about my boyfriend much more and seems to be interested, which used to be an awkward experience. I see it as as a step, if nothing else.

Sorry, how old are you? I think sometimes when the younger partner is very young, the older one can be seen as sort of 'preditary' and people find it difficult to believe the relationship will be equal or fair...or legal?

Otherwise, 7 years really isn't that big a gap and I think your father will come round in time. I think peoples acceptence often depends on how old the youngest partner is.

My boyfriend was 18 when we started seeing one another which, to some people, meant he was still a child...especially feedback I had from Americans where adulthood seems to start at 21.

With a 7 year gap, or a 10 year one like me, you still share a lot of the same popular culture and it is very easy to relate to one another. When you consider that many couples have successful and happy relationships with an age gap of 20 years or more, we really have less issues than most to 'deal with'.

My Dad has always been supportive. My brother less so but now, after nearly 2 years, my l'il bro and partner are good friends.

Try not to worry. If you care about each other then it working or not will come from the two of you and everyone else will eventually see why and fall into line.

Good luck ad best wishes.


Hi ivywinter, I think you'd better have a talk with your father and your older brother though they think it odd that you dating a man who is 7 years older than you. I have met a guy who is 12 years older than me at and I also met the disapproval from my father. I simply told my dad that I had thought long and hard on the age difference and had come to terms with it. I assured my guy that it was not a decision that I entered into lightly. My father respected my decision and never questioned me about it further. So have a try, hope you everything goes well.