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Trying to Be Together

I'm a 26 year old woman in a relationship with a 45 year old man. I'm starting to fall in love, which is VERY hard for me considering I'm not that trusting of a person anyway.... He is nothing like anyone I have ever dated before. There's no guesswork as to what he wants - I don't have to read his mind or wonder if something I did was wrong. He is vary accepting of my lifestyle and job. Also he respects the fact that my two kids come first - always!

There are a few problems, though. First of all, my ex. We split up about three years ago, but he still can't seem to let go - even though he is in another very serious relationship. He gives me problems if he even suspects that I might be seeing someone. Especially if that someone happens to be someone he knows... My ex knows this man and they are friends. I'm not sure whether to end this relationship because of him or not.

Another problem is that his daughter is my age. I'm not too sure that she will be very accepting to her father having a 26 year old girlfriend.

Despite these "problems" we get along great. but I'm just really not sure how to proceed with this. I'm afraid that the age difference bothers him (he says no and that he's just worried about it bothering me.)   The main problem is my ex. He just won't let me live my life!!

LucyWell LucyWell 26-30, F 6 Responses Sep 23, 2009

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go for what your heart says...if you are happy with your new found love (older guy) go for it without think much on IFs & BUTs.......Good Luck...!!!

I am glad that you are happy with your boyfriend. I think your ex boyfriend should mind his own business, he just seems jealous or he doesn't want you to be happy, he's in a relationship why is he acting like if he owns you I dont get that. I agree with what PrawnQueen and nukemhi said I think it is better to do that.

You don't have to worry about your age and his daughter age. He is ok with it. My man has a daughter who is 2 years younger than me and it is fine, I was worried about it that before.

If your ex is really your guy's friend, he should accept that even if things didn't work out you and him, his friend has a chance to make you happy. It is a happy thing! Perhaps have a talk just with the three of you (like a mini-group therapy session, if you like) to get some things 'out there'. I believe it is always good to talk openly about difficulties. Give this relationship time, don't rush into anything and take it slow, I'm sure you will anyway. Maybe things will begin to clear up when you have all had some time to process the situation. It looks like everyone is running high on emotions, particularly your ex.

Best Wishes and good luck!

I was 50 my wife 19 when we met I have two sons older than my wife a daughter the same age as my wife. Everyone and their dog had an opinion. I was a dirty old man using a young girl for self gratification, or she was a Lolita using womanly charms to break up a happy family. It took me a long time to realise that there preconceived ideas were not my problem. Other peoples problems with your relationship are there problems not yours. 14 years and 2 children later we are happy beyond are wildest dreams.

Thank you for sharing your story! I'm glad to hear that your current boyfriend is loving and supporting. Age difference is only the state of mind. Your ex, sounds like, doesn't want you be happy. If he did, he would understand and let go. I have few more helpful tips and let's chat some more when you like me on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/JR-Love-Doctors/460217714041022

IN INDIA, WHERE SOCIAL PRESURE IS VERY HIGH, THOUGH PEOPLE DONT CARE AND U , I THINK FROM EUROPE, ITS SURPRISE THAT UR EX IS SO STRONG, ANY WAY FACE THE PROBLEM OR TACKLE IT WITH BRAVERY.