Reality Check

This is a reality check for all you people who think you are in an "almost" sexless marriage. Although by technicality you might not qualify to be in a sexless marriage based on the magic number of 10 encounters/year or less, functionally you have the same problem. If you're sexually unfulfilled, if your sex life is controlled by your spouse, or if your lack of sex is causing feelings of resent, anger, depression or frustration then you need to drop the "almost".
Invariably the "almost" SM turns into the "technically" SM anyway, so quit wasting time and start treating the problem with the level of attention it deserves. Life is too precious to waste in this purgatory.
TheWendigo TheWendigo
41-45, M
2 Responses Dec 14, 2011

And please keep in mind that if you do leave, you can end up in the same situation with a new person since medical and emotional issues can happen to everyone. I'd suggest never getting married again so that if they lose their sex drive or say sex is too painful, your exist will be cleaner.

Amen Sister, best advice ever. I'll never make this mistake again!

Many of the people that the posters are married to do not have medical problems. They just don't like sex. Big difference. So kindly take your attitude elsewhere.

I am there, and yes it is purgatory. It sucks. I am faced with the prospect of going on like this or leaving.

Leaving will hurt for a while, staying will hurt forever. If you'd like some deeper thoughts on the subject I'd encourage you to check out the group "I live in a sexless marriage". It's extremely active and lots of good info there. Good luck whichever way you choose on this.