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Trying To Reignite

After 35 years I've landed myself in not a sexless marriage but one with no intimacy of any kind. I've been angry and full of resentment. He doesn't talk to me, share feelings... nothing. We're roommates without benefits.

I found myself starting to act the same way. One word answers, no questions etc. I'm not sure what happened but I suddenly had a thought: I'm in a vicious circle. The more he treats me poorly, the more I treat him poorly. Food for thought.

This week I've decided to lighten up on myself. Talk to him more, ask his opinion, touch him, basically treat him the way I want treated and see if it makes a difference.

Wish me luck!
bookat57 bookat57 51-55, F 4 Responses Oct 24, 2012

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How are things going now? I hope things worked out for you. For me it's been 25 years and I guess I feel like things are kinda hopeless in that area. My difference from you is I think he might have ED and doesn't want to admit it. I guess I choose to think that because the alternative is he love me but is not attracted to me and has not been for a loooong time. It's weird how incredible painful it still is. After all this time, you'd think my body would have shut down.

UPDATE: He finally spilled last night. After 4 years of me pushing/asking/pleading he finally told me that he's suffering from ED. Now I believe this because about a year or so ago I was at the pharmacy picking up my own prescriptions when they told me they had one for someone else with my last name. Now my last name is unusual so I asked who and it was my husband. Naturally I said I'd pay for it as well. It was Viagra. He laughed it off and said the Dr's office made a mistake. At the time I remember thinking Dr's offices don't make mistakes like that. Which of course made me start thinking there might be someone else. But after our talk last night I totally believe him. This is an opportunity for a new beginning for us.

Good luck! And what an optimistic person you must be to start over so bravely! Let us know how it's going.

Don't give up....don't give yourself high expectations though....just be the best person you can be....let him know how you feel...his actions will tell you more than his words.

Thank you.