Almost....but Not Quite....

I guess the term "almost" could mean something different for different people. To me it means very infrequent. It also refers to a general lack of intimacy and affection. It means sleeping alone frequently. It also refers to what someone once called "plain vanilla" love-making which without going into unnecessary detail involves a lot of routine. For me, it also involves a partner who does not want to "give back" so that I am discouraged from trying anything different.

"Almost" is a sad place to be, really. One cannot say that he/she lives in a "sexless marriage" but the physical and emotional frustration is still there. Some days are tolerable...others not so much so.
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3 Responses Nov 2, 2012

I feel your pain and can totally relate. No intimacy in my marriage either. The disheartening thing for me is that we are not that old. What does that say about the future of the relationship given that, from what I've read so far, it usually gets worse as they get older? I can't stay in a relationship where I'm reduced to being my husband's roommate. Without the intimacy, that's pretty much what it becomes... a really good friendship.

Your general assessment seems pretty much on target. Different for everyone.

Infrequent completely boring sex is my situation. Any overture of mine is rejected but on rare occasions she offer a quickie. Thus I'm forced to take what is given or sometimes I'll just say no thank you.

She hates it when I say no thanks. But I sort of like letting her know how it feels. This doesn't solve anything so I just endure it and try to tell myself it really doesn't matter.

are we married to teh same person. lol. shoulda never married vanilla lol