Sooo Frustrated....

 I am a 24 year old female who has been married almost a year(this Jan.) and I am feeling so frustrated and hurt. My husband, who is my age seems to have lost interest in me, at least that's what it feels like. He doesn't romance me in any way and I am always doing special things for him( to try and initiate the process), but still nothing. Sometimes we go 2 months without sex, and it makes me so sad. He tells me he loves me and that he finds me attractive,but he just doesn't show it. I just want passion in our marriage,I want to feel needed. I have already expressed to him how I feel,but he doesn't seem to do anything about it. I know I am attractive and that other men are interested in me, but I do care for my husband, what should I do?Everyone needs attention, and to be touched in that special way.I am just scared for the years to come, because we haven't even been married a year! I don't know how much longer I can take this(I am only 24!).

spunkie4ever spunkie4ever
8 Responses Nov 25, 2008

I would say act uninterested in him in that way but at the same time walk around in completely arousing clothing. Vacum in thongs type thing...

Open and honest verbally, first with yourself and then him. Outside help may be needed... Also, sexy clothes, etc. may start the ball. <br />
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old dude,<br />
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Give him an ultimatum, six months or you're gone. Be explicit. Tell him exactly what you expect to change and tell him when he is and is not meeting your expectations. Men need goals that are concrete. Be prepared to leave. No empty threats.<br />
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I hope you haven't made babies with him!<br />
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If it doesn't work out don't even think about another marriage until you're thirty or so. So dumb getting married before then. I was that dumb too the first time.<br />
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Good luck!

Hate to tell you this but it WONT get better with time! I have been with my husband for 10 years and married for 6 of them and I am 24! I have to pretty much beg my husband who is 25 to have sex with me! Not to sound conceded but I am Hott, I do P90X to stay in shape. We have had 2 kids and I will tell you kids makes getting time alone together even harder. I am right now torn if I even want to stay married because I should not have to beg the man I love, to make love to me and show me affection....this is just the tip of the iceberg!

I'll take you. I want a romantic wife, mine is like your husband. Too bad it is not that easy. I think he needs to be tested for low testerone levels, also exercise will improve desire. Hope he is not a couch potato or computor involved all the time. Get him out and way from these boring things and live life.

Sort it out now.I find 'the rules' book good , if its a certain type of problem.But if its a deep-rooted sexual problem then you will need more help

Lay it out for him...not in form of ultimatum but in clearly expressing your needs, wants, and desires. Also, ask him what you can do so that he provides you that. Once you have communicated those to him clearly, the ball is in his court so to speak. He either will or he will not. If he does, great! If he does not, ball is back in your court...and you must choose whether to stay or go. If kids are not yet part of the equation, and you think you might leave, leave early vice late. I am living that pain right now with no good answer...only lesser of bad ones. Good luck

I stayed in a marriage for 20 years that was like this because I was from a broken home and I didn't want to put my kids through all that chaos. We were both sexual abuse survivors, but I chose healing and he preferred denial. I eventually accepted it, realized that we just needed different things in like, and that was okay. But if I wanted to have an affectionate and passionate relationship, it wasn't going to be with him. So, I chose to leave the relationship. It doesn't mean that yours can't work out. There are plenty of things you can try - counseling, non-sexual touch - things that may build trust and desire again. But ultimately, you can't choose for another person, and they can't choose for you.