I Didn't Know I Was Married

I got married at 16 years old. It was an arranged marriage.

I knew I was betrothed to someone I hardly knew and consequently, I wasn't exactly excited about it.

There was an engagement party, the same day I was to take my last final exam in high school. I remember getting upset that my mother was busy going about with the party preparations when I had to really go immediately to school. My mother doesn't want me going to school alone, you see. She'd rather have me driven there.

After my exam, I was exhausted and went directly to sleep. I didn't bother to take a peek at what was happening downstairs at the engagement party. The woman betrothed wasn't expected to drop by the party anyway so there was no biggie.

I don't know how long I was asleep when I felt someone waking me up. They wanted me to prepare for a wedding.

I told them they are mistaken and that this was an engagement party, not a wedding. And then the women looked at each other and two left while one remained. They realized I was never told.

I remember crying and asking if I was really married and the person left did not answer me.

Finally, my mother came up and wanted me to go downstairs.

Why, I asked. I knew it was not a custom for the daughter to go out in an engagement party. She forced me to do it anyway.

The revelation that I may be married was at the back of my mind while sitting down with the man that was to be (or rather already) my husband. I didn't smile. I had a poker face. My mother moved close to me and whispered that I was being a prima donna considering it is not my marriage. These are words I will hold forever against her. She is one big, fat liar. She even dared to chastise me at a very blatant lie.

The man next to me was wearing a darn wedding suit!

That night, I lay on the bed watching the TV. I was still shocked. The events of the day was still being processed in my mind. Plus, there was still no formal notification from my parents that I have been married.

What I felt was not anger. I felt sad and betrayed. I knew I was going to be married off to someone I barely knew eventually but I thought my parents would have the courtesy to at least inform me first.

While watching TV, my mother came with a look at she was about to tell me something. She began by saying I was already married. I said, "I know." She breathe a sigh of relief. She then said the groom's family insists that the groom is to bed me that same night.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Not only was I married without my consent, they were going to have me sleep with him. Later, I would find that while my parents allowed him to sleep with me, he wasn't allowed to touch me. The go-signal was given the next night.

I didn't cry. I was numb. It was like everything was all in my mind.
An Ep User An EP User
3 Responses Jan 12, 2013

Wtf This is so terrible. What does the groom know? And what does the groom think? You need to talk to your parents and you have to get answers. This is your life, they can't with hold things and go off with decisions just because they think you'll object on matters that need some input from you. This is YOUR life. wtf

i thought i had it tough ! if ur happy to talk, id like to know more , as i have somewhat similar circumstances ..

omg if i was you id get out of that hell hole as soon as possible