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Muslim Boy/christian Girl

Hello,

I had very strong relationship with a muslim guy.we were very much and deep in love and decided to marry.our relationship was 1 year long but we knew each other from 3 years.in the begining it was long distance and after that i went to live with him.then we started to talk about kids.he refused our kids to choose their faith when they are big enough and he refused to be brought up with both religions.he said they have to be only muslims.then big fights started,he started to impose me a lot of things - how exactly they have to be brought up - without drinking pepsi,watching TV,playing video games,that they have to drink only milk and he has a lot of beliefs from early childhood.i said ok i dont mind quran to be discussed and showed,im even open about it and the children have to know about it because its part of you,but dont you think that im a person too and have also my beliefs.after that he said he want to break up (after 2 weeks fights) and he couldnt accept my point of view.i wonder if love is so deep, people are ready to make compromises,i gave up so many things because of his beliefs and he just went away.are all muslims like this,why they start christian relationships wityhout beeing ready to accept the other

tex23456 tex23456 26-30 34 Responses Jun 7, 2009

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Hello! I read a lot of discussions about relationships with Christians and muslims.! Well I m personally a very strong in faith Christian! An orthodox greek Christian! And besides that now, I m in love with a muslim from Iraq, I ll never change my religion! Just the opposite! Slowly slowly he will have 2 options! One that will forget islam and blah blah, or he will just keep it for himself! He is lovely in personality, he treats me as a princess, and he has gorgeous green eyes that I die just to see em!! All in all we just met and it looks bright, but he knows for sure that I m orthodox Christian and I believe in Jesus Christ, and if we take it serious he will have to forget about islam and his culture! I am well educated, I study in Univercity, he studied too, and I ll never convert in Islam! I hate Islam, I m very proud of being an orthodox Christian AND I rather be dead than change it! I don't care about his islam, for me is blah blah blah! But if I will take it serious and long lasting he will forget his islam! If at the end we get married, then he will have to convert in orthodox Christianity and be Christian! That will be a happy end! But if he keep his faith in islam,i ll never marry him! I ll just keep have him as boyfriend till I ll marry a Christian! If a kid come in this love, then he will have to change and be Christian, if he doesn't I wont keep the child! I m willing to love my muslim guy more than anyone else in this world, n adore him n treasure him, but if he stay in islam I ll leave him!

in my opinion you shouldnt be even commenting on this, as you are just like the guy that txt23465 is talking about, you cant impose your religion on anybody. Although i am muslim i am not defending only your boyfriend because he is one two, because i believe that what txt23456 went through is wrong and and that nobody should impose their beliefs on anybody else, if he really loved her he would have tried to show her what he believed in instead of forcing her to change, which is exactly what you are trying to do. also if you went to any type of UNIVERSITY well first off you would be able to speak english correctly and secondly you would know better than to say you hate the religion of your significant other. you should be ashamed of yourself and i hope your boyfriend realizes what a monster you are and leaves you

i would just want to start by telling you as from a point of view of a muslim girl , i hope you first decided to marry before going along with any future plans with him for it is a great sin (in both your religions )to go on in an intimate relationship out of marriage , but focusing on your point here , no person on earth is 100% compatible with another person , that's why compromise in certain aspects is a major factor in the success of any relationship , but NEVER to the point you compromise what you stand for and what you believe in or try altering who you are to satisfy your partner , because trust me , and i say this out of experience , you will lose yourself and your essence and never live a fulfilling life , the most important thing is living by what you believe in and not others beliefs , we are born into a world with so many different ideas and paths we could live our lives by , and on of those main paths are religions and spiritual and moral beleifs ,have an open mind , and search into this world to find the best and truthful way to live your life by ,and never compromise it for anyone , and please i say say this from a sister to another , don't regret your break up with him , he dosent deserve you ,because he dosent accept who you are and your beliefs , and Islam never said it was okay to force someone to sacrifice what they believe in to please the muslims , so any muslim man who acts like that is totally unacceptable by all standards at least in Islamic standards to behave like that , so in short forget about him , he is DEFINITELY unworthy of you , trust me you will find a man who is loving to you and respect and accept you for who you are .

If he were a true Muslim, he should NOT have asked you to move in with him. I would NEVER live with a girl unless I marry her.

hi,im also in a relation with muslim and start only a month but we are friends in almost a year so,i hope its work for a long or for life...

He started a relationship with you to get you to convert.

I am in a situation much like everyones.I recently started a blog to help me understand. If you would visit it and comment, it will help. Thank you.

www.simplesite.com/HeartvrsBrain

girl,not all the muslims the same . my boyfriend is muslim too . hes great guy , best person i ever met . we r planning to get engaged and he said if u want stay in ur religion and his family said the same cause islam doesnt want people to convert to it againts their own wills.but if i became muslim we can built a stronger family and hes gonna be happier , so i ll do anything for the man i love cuz he does a lot for me . but your bf was wrong , he had to respect ur religion and ur choice too .

I am from Europa and i was really against Muslim people because of the media and what they were saying about them. I moved to USA and met that amazing Muslim guy.He was very smart, intelligent and live in USA for 18 years so i thought he doesn't really care about the religion. I was with him for more than 1 year. In the beginning he was fine with everything, our kids r gonna choose the religion, his family r very open minded so they not gonna have a problem with me ... after 6month he changed his mind and said he wants his kids to rise as a Muslim and his family will give him a permission to merry me if i convert to Islam. I met his family (mom, sister and her husband) so that told me he is kinda serious about our relationship because in his culture introducing the gf to the family its a really big deal. So i read the Qur'an , ask a lot of questions ( btw I am a Christian) but it wasn't for me. Started thinking about this and realize that why i need to change everything and his not gonna do anything? If he loves me he supposed to accept me, my personality and not trying to convert me !!! we were together 1.5 year and we broke up because of the religion.... Its really hard right now i miss him, and i am thinking about him every day but i hope that's the right decision.

my dear your decision is 1000% the right decision , i support you on this and i understand it's an extremely hard choice to go with , but doing the right thing was never easy , in these situations following your heart was never the wisest thing to do because it leads to disasters you will regret your hole life , stay strong and positive and move on from this toxic relationship ! relationships are meant to make you feel happy and secure not the opposite !

I think in the beginning you and the other person really believe it can work. But once the relationship gets serious and kids come in to play. Everything change or its always been there, the two of you never talk about the facts. Its is the most stressful thing I have ever experience. The views on so many topics are different. And it can be a argument on all of those topics. Right now Im just taking a step back. I love this man and I know he loves me. Our history goes all the way back to when I was 16 and now 17 years later we have a house a son and two different careers. I dont know how long this relationship is going to last but I know for a fact I WILL NEVER ENGAGE IN A SERIOUS COMMITMENT WITH ANOTHER MUSLIM MAN AGAIN!!!!

a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds

the person who can go against his own religion will you expect that he will not go away from marital relation.in islam interfaith marriage is not allowed.but he did so he was not perfect muslim even alongwith not being a perfect husband.so dear dont think that all muslims are like him.islam is perfect and muslims try to follow it.but he had not failed to follow rather he had tried to go against islam.trhen he is not worthy to b compared with true muslims.<br />
may you be blessed!<br />
take care <br />
sunshines!

Am in a similar situation in relation with a christian man not religious but he believes in God never goes to church but helps the less fortuned.10 years together we have a 4 year old boy and am raising him a muslim he has no problem with that,am planning to end it cause in both religions there is no room for adultery and civil marriage is not permitted in islam nor christianity ,i feel guilty most of the time which means am not happy neither do i want him to join me.most chrstians attend same church once married i don't get it why you talk much of muslim mens wife follow their religion even in culture we always takes fathers sides rectify if am wrong.good luck for all.

Hi.. I am a Christian girl and in a relationship with a Muslim guy. I met him when I went to a country where majority of people living are Muslims. I was a trainee and he was an employee. We've been together for half a year already. I know this isn't too long yet compared to the ones stated above. Anyway, we are so okay together. After 4months, we became LDR. I must say that my boyfriend is really responsible and is a great person. We are so happy being together. We know our differences but our solution would be to forget it and just accept the fact that we are happy in love. Time passed. Our relationship was getting more serious as time was goin by fast. He's almost on his 30's so the idea of gettin married in an early stage of relationship is something we cannot prevent. I, myself, would even consider getting married with him. We understand that I came from a conservative Christian family and so as he came from a conservative Muslim family and country. It's just conflicting. So we were trying to figure out solutions by getting married by civil so we won't have to touch the part of religion but complications still come up. He can't introduce me as his wife but as a girlfriend only. My kids will never meet his fam. Plus the image of seeing his family and my family gettin along well together in the future is vague. I am completely aware of these consequences and I am advance in thinking of the other possible things that might happen. But, I'm afraid to lose him. My heart and mind are not agreeing. I really don't know how to cope up with it. I have compromised my faith once already but I don't think I will be able to compromise one more time. Plus marriage is very sacred.

I am a Christian girl and was dating a muslim guy for 7 years.We were crazy in love and everything was fine until we started to talk about marriage, then he started to set up rules for me that I can't go out with my female friends,can't have any male collegues, even at work and can't g on holiday with my friends.I didn't want to live in sins so I was trying to convince him to marry me but it was never good time for him to do it.Ifell pregnant and we have a son and finally we got engaged,but after that he never mentioned marriage and I was only starting this subject.He became violent and agressive and was shouting at me if I didn't agree with his rules.He said he is not ready for marriage because I am arguing with him too much and have my own opinion,since he expected me to always agree with him.He was repeating that he loves me and our son but he is not sure of me because of our fights.I cut off my friends for him, tried to be a good houswife:cooking,cleaning , trying to plan something amazing for our leisure time,looking after baby and baking cakes for him and his family,but inside I was very unhappy and felt lonely.He didn't want to trust me even when he didn't have any reason to think that I can be unfaithfull.When somebody knocked on door (even a postman) or phoned by mistake he was my possible lover in his brain.My explanation didn't help.Once he got furious when I asked him something personal and broke up our laptop on purpose to punish me and started to throw furniture.After such behaviour I packed all my stuff and took our son to my parents.I love him a lot and he had feelings towards me too but I felt unsecure with no plans for future and his agression.I gave him plenty of new chances but he never changed.My heart is bleeding, He is the love of my life and I left him, I can't forget him, because we had plenty of beautiful romantic moments too.I can't understand why muslim guys don't trust european girls and why they want to change them for muslim even if they are good girls from traditional families?My life is finished, I will never be happy again, I lost my love...Because of different culture..

I am a MUSLIM guy and i am dating a CHRISTIAN girl we love each other dearly we have no fights about that stuff we have an understanding that the kids will be muslims but i will let them learn about Christianity if they want to, after all our prophet MUHAMMED (pbuh) had a CHRISTIAN wife wich converted to islam after she seen what islam is realy about. (its not about killing people cuz they dont belive in what we do) its about honoring your family and beiliving in the creator of the world , I realy get upset by the people who think that muslims are terrorists or violent in nature that is the wrong Idea that some people get from bad media.Finally i beg anyone who wants to speak about ISLAM to read the quran as I have read the bible sorry for the long post and thank u for reading. :)

muslims are not allowed to get married to people with different faith if they will do that marriage is not at all valid.but yes if the othe partner accepts islam then it would be really blessed marriage.may you b blessed!
sunshines!

Hello, I'd just like to point out that Muslim men are allowed to marry non-Muslim women, but only Christians or Jews. Although it's not often advised that they do, it's allowed. :)

interested to know which wife of the prophet (pbuh) are you talking about?

not all of them like this , but if u choose to be with a guy who has different religion u have to respect his religion and traditions but at the same time he has to be respectful to yours . If your bf doesn't respect your religion , culture and traditions then he doesn't respect u in a first place My boyfriend is muslim too and am orthodox christian we have been in relationships only for 5 months but we had a talk bout marriage and kids , so my bf said that our kids will have to be muslims cause thats how it works , if father muslim children muslims too .But he also said that our kids have to know about their mothers religion too and he will teach them bible and we ll take them to church. So not all muslims like this , u just picked up wrong one .

A Crhristian girl has and been with a muslim 4 four years. They both are very intelligent, one with a Masters in Busines and the other done one degree and almost finished with law degree. He is a great guy, and she is lovely. a great couple. It is my concern that the two religions dont match and the cultures neither. How will that ever work? The muslim men are calm respectful etc but that is because they have to be their religion teaches then that. Also they have to look after their parents when they are old, (their belief). Do you think having muslim in laws in your house will work? <br />
She says that she will never give up her religion, he has to accept that. He is fien with that. But every man has a religion as well asa culture which is very much part of his religion. He cannot seperate these two. e.g he might be westernised and drinkacohol but will still never eat pork. <br />
Children<br />
He said the children can choose their religion. Which father will (when he gets a child) like to see his son become christian, a different religion that his own dad? She says she trusts him that he will do that. How many woman trusted their husband and in the end they got divorced? WHen you are young it is lovely to trust but that wont work. You still have the reigion and culture issues. <br />
That will EVER go away, no matter how westerinsed or how far away you are from your religion. And a new family wants to belong and needs to belong. WHere will they belong. It will either be christian culture, muslim or neither. If they choose the latter, which religion will the children grow up in? <br />
ALso when the two met, did this love form out of sexual desire or love? If it was sexual, then both were sinful towards their God and Allah. Bad start dont you think?

I have been married to a muslim man for over five years, and i do not practice any religion. His family nor him have once pressured me to convert to islam. We were and are very open with eachother. we do not have any kids yet but are planning soon. my mother wants our kids to be brought up muslim because shes old fashioned and says kids should be brought up in the mans religion,(shes catholic). my husband does not want the kids to be raised muslim or be forced, he wants our kids to choose freely. However, if and when we do decide to have kids, things change and he will want our kids to be brought up muslim i will have a problem with that. because i also agree they should choose what they want to believe. But hopefully this will not happen at all. good luck to all other couples out there. not ALL are the same.

I am a Christian, and very strong in my beliefs. I hold a position in the church, and I have a powerful walk with God. have never met a Muslim in my life, but about three months ago, I met a guy. I was not interested at first, but he was very persistent. Therefore I gave him my number and didnt think anything of it. I thought eventually I would ignore his phone calls and forget about him. We began to conversate, of course I knew he was Arabic, because of his ethnicity and language. Then one day we began talking about religion, and he told me he was Muslim. I PAUSED, I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO! ALL I HAVE EVER HEARD WAS BAD THINGS ABOUT MUSLIMS, AND I HAD NO CLUE AS TO WHAT THE ISLAM RELIGION WAS COMPOSED OF. I ALMOST RAN FROM HIM, I BECAME HISTORICAL!. He asked me what was the problem, he told me not to be afraid of him. I didn't know how to respond! Thereafter, I began to ask him many many questions, and he would explain and educate me about the Islam religion. I have to admit, there was many misconceptions I had, and I am glad I began to educate myself. The only reason why, is because I began to have feelings for this Muslim man. He is the most nicest, gentle, and kind person I have ever met in my life, literally. He and his friends, welcomed me into their lives, and I have the most remarkable time when I am with them. Of course, I am continously in prayer about this, and I have prayed and cried and cried and prayed to God; I know what the sc<x>riptures says about being unequally yoked with a non-believer. But I was honest with God, I told him exactly how I felt about this Muslim. I am still praying about until this day. My Muslim friend is very open-minded and he has taught me to be the same way. I thank him for that, now my view about Muslims are different. I love everyone, no matter what religious background they are from. But my Muslim friend is very strong in his religion and I am in mine. He knows how I feel about the Trinity, God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. He knows I have an intimate personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and that I love Him with everything in me. My Muslim friend is very open to my beliefs, and I am able to share almost anything with him. I have such a peace when I am with him, I just don't understand. He is very cultural and traditional...but I love that about him. My life has been different every since I met this Muslim man, I dont know what to do. This experience is very new to me and I am enjoying it! Can someone please help me or give me some wise advice about this situation!!!!

i was very moved when i read ur story because my relationship started the same way ...actually we hated eachother at first he was working in a store i go to alot and i was always very offencive with him i don t even knw why! i knew he was muslim and i always thought in my head tht i will never accept this...i am not ony born and raised christian but alse a jehovah s withness and we re not even allowed to date other christians...and i never thought i would even talk to someone who is not a withness...but for one reason or another i kept seing this guy everywhere i went and he didn t like me either saying i was too snob ...but one day i saw him in a party and accidently we started to talk and he added me on fb and we became good friends he would talk about his life and work and family andi would talk about my ex and conversation began to end at 3 am even 4 am sometimes until one day he came to my work and we went for a coffee and since tht day we are very much in love it has been a year now ...i had the best days of my life with this man until my parents and family and congregation knew about my relationship and since thn im living in hell...it has been 4 months now tht everyone is against me and my parents threatened me several times to kick me out of the house even tho they knw im not ready to live alone nor i want to give up on my religion...he is very understanding and he wants me to stay in my religion if tht makes me happy and he even said tht he will try to make an effort and start comming to the meetings like we like to call thm...but even if he does i knw my familly will never accept him and it breaks my heart but we love eachother so much tht we just can t end things and avoid all these problems ...no one understand what we re going thru and its very hard but its making our love even stronger and i don t knw what life is hiding for us later on but all i can do is hope for the best and hope tht i won t have to lose my lover and best-friend

wow nice to come aross this. i am a jehovah witness and strong believer as well. I know exactly how you feel if you are into it like me. I met a muslim guy thatat first was nothing andi didnt like him. In my heart I knew dating a non believer would only cause problems. One my whole family would be against it. 2 i grew up going to the meetings alone and i always told myself tht i have to marry a witness so we can encourage each other and build on our relayionship with Jehovah. Anyways one thing led to another, i prayed about it and everything and now I have been with my muslim boyfriend for a year. He is a great guy. I love him. But i always feel guilty now and this totally weakend my relationship withGod. Its not his fault at all and hes supportive but its just me and my ownfeelings of guilt and im afraid.I dont know what to do. I mean things are moving along in our relationship and becoming more serious.Im so scared for family and the congregation to find out. Is it even worth it?? Like is it a sin?? sometimes i feel yes and sometimes no. i really am utterly confused. i would love to talk to you about this as you ar going through the same thing.i just think about if we were to get married, i would be going on my own to meetings.he talks of converting but i would want him to do it for jehovah not me and plus his family is so religiously into islam it would cause problems for him. im so confused. if we got married and had kids , i could not allow my kids to be islam. nothing against them whatsoever and i respecttheir beliefs but my kids have to recognizeGod and Jesus as their savior. I am the definition of confsed and torn.

i am so sorry to har that. any way i am a muslim but i totally disagree with that guy and he shouldn't treat like that. i agree with and i think its good for you to leave him he is not good for you. thanks for sharing

A true muslim is one who marries a believing chaste. Muslims are not allowed to drink..or do any of those things u talked abt...The only way a muslim can get along with a non muslim is if one was similar to the other either a not so practicing muslim or a not so practicing christian. I am into this atheist guy...He and I know we dont have a future which is fine..that does not mean i have no feelings for him but this is the honest truth.

I am in a relationship with a Muslim guy who was born in Jordan. Unlike most Christians I have actually been educating myself on his faith, and culture...I'm even trying to learn Arabic, just on the off chance I ever meet his parents. But he is not a super devout Muslim...he loves rock n roll, plays a gibson guitar, eats cheese burgers, cajun food, drinks rum, watches American football, loves to dance. He is a highly educated yet fun loving guy. He loves me for my intelligence and the fact that I can talk about subjects on a much higher level...considering he is a PhD, a very high level. He does not treat me like I am property, or give me rules when we are together. We are still exploring our relationship as a whole, and have not gotten to the "meet the parents" part, but we are working towards it. My family is ready to accept him as is with open arms, but I know there will be issues with his, and if his family does have major issues I will walk away. I will not make him choose between us, I will make that choice for him. It just breaks my heart that we are so jaded by what has happened overseas that we hear the words Muslim or Islam and instantly we bristle. After 9/11 my boyfriend even started going by a Christian name for fear of retaliation, that is ultimately sad. <br />
I do not know what life has in store for us, but we will cross that bridge when we get there. All I know is how to love unconditionally, and I believe that he loves the same way.

I sorta know how you feel.<br />
<br />
I'm in a similar relationship though i'm Atheist and she's Muslim. I don't care if she's Muslim but she really seems to care that i'm Atheist lately. <br />
<br />
It's bumming me out a lot right now. :(

If you are involved with a non-practicing man from an Islamic country or one whose is very liberal, then the issue of religion isn't that big of a deal. That being said, most Muslim men feel very strongly about Islam and they expect their children to be raised as Muslims in everyway. This is often non-negotiable and can wreak havoc on relationships when one partner is non-Muslim and cannot comprehend the depth of the importance of Islam as both a way of life and a religion to the Muslim partner. Also, even so-called "moderate" and "open-minded" Muslims will usually prefer their children to be Muslim and it is not unusal for a Muslim male to become more religious after marriage and children (not ALL will do this of course). This is an issue that Muslims feel very staunchly about and there is usually little to no room for compromise. I strongly urge that any non-Muslim person in a this sit uation think carefully about because it will have long-term effects on their life and future marriage/family.

im new at this everybody, but i want to know how the family accepts you. how does the mother feel about her son not marrying a Muslim woman. at times i don't think i will be welcome

That is not true, a muslim man is allowed to marry a orthodox christin girl, islam accepts the bible as one of its holy books and respects it, it acknowledges the presence of jesus (peace be apon him) as a prophet and the marriage is allowed, the man and woman may practise both religions at home or at places of worship. There is many speculations about children though, some say if the man is muslim the children are born into his religion and should follow islam. Others say they should be given the choice. Women are not allowed to marry non muslims because of several reasons, amongst much speculation, one of the main reasons is because the woman would not receive all her rights that would be given to her by a muslim man, the man must provide for his wife and children and see to there health and well being, where as this is not a religious practise in other faiths, the woman may be left to provide for herself and her children which would be difficult andto no benefit. Other reasons also include offspring, the faith of the children would be mixed and for the mother to see her children acting in such ways as which is un lawful in islam would cause her alot of heart ache. Thus it is said that she is removed from the religion and has no ties with the muslim community.<br />
<br />
Islamic law is one which was created to see the most benefit to man kind, not just individuals, the misconception is placed in some very few cases where extremists cary out actions to prevent this, this can not be seem as a religious act but more a cultural clash.<br />
<br />
Both the man and women have to decide what is beneficial in the relationship and take action accordingly, if love is being put to one side during arguments reasoning should take place to solve them.

yes they accept jesus as a prohet but he is God, notone of the prophets.

If Jesus was God then how come he worshiped God ?

LOL! Praise the Lord Jesus Christ! Son of God In the name of the FATHER&lt; SON AND HOLY SPIRIT.

then she is no longer linked to ISLAM... n man is to be banished from ISLAM if dat happends

well MUSLIMs hav strict rules n laws to follow.... man cannot go to another religion nor woman can become other then thier own. if christian woman is marryin muslim SHE HAS TO BECOME MUSLIM n UNDERSTAND our RELIGION, TRADITIONS n LAWS N RULES........<br />
<br />
n if a woman goes out if thier religion she can get abadont by everything she had.. her name he religion ..

LOL! What a joke!

one thing i learned from my mom:<br />
avoid discussions of politics and religion to have a peaceful conversation.<br />
<br />
though, all are free to talk about things and issues, the two subjects are really sensitive and open mindedness is a requirement...

Guys, no need to fight on this old theme. I finally understood that religion is only one part of the relationship and when there are compromises from both sides, TRUE AND REAL LOVE and good communication this is the right formula for muslim/christian dialogue. There are bad guys in every religion..and only because the problem happened on the religion's issue doesnt mean that this is actually the real problem! i believe that we have to stay in difficult times with the loved one and I believe that there are crysis in the relationships....if it is too fragile it breaks..and obvisouly sometimes we think that the relationship is more meaningfull than it is actually. ok no more phylosophical thoughts...i just wanted to say that we dont have to put all muslims in one place only because this happened. Good luck to everybody in their relationships and best of luck