I met my Candian boyfriend in Australia. He moved here with his family, but when I met him he was the only one left here as the rest went back some years earlier. When we started going out I knew straight on he planned to head back to be with his family, and if all worked out between us that year I was invited to go with him. All I could think was "What an exciting adventure!!!!" I had in my head that it would be temporary - just a year - but that turned into two, and now my working holiday is about to end and he wants me to stay longer and apply for residency.

It was a very hard first year for me in Canada - I was used to being independent and career minded and I became very dependent on him. He got work straight away, and I had to study and do some upgrading before I could work in my career. I didn't get hired for a year. Until then I did other jobs making minimal wage - $9 an hour!! That kind of pay would be illegal in Australia!! It got me very depressed as I had a professional career that was going very well before I left. I finally started working (only casual) in my area and making friends, and I did start to love it. Every time I go home though to visit my family....I don't want to go back.

We are at that stage now where we do love each other and can see us being married with kids, but we are always going to have that huge problem over our heads of the fact that if we stay together we'll always between countries. Neither is willing to give up our country forever and stay in the other permenantly. The only way it will work is some years here, some years there....and that is not desirable either! I am very up and down and every time we argue I think about giving up on it all. I don't know what to do!! Because he is in his homeland, it is easy for him to just wait for me to make a decision (because he won't have to move regardless of whether I stay or leave him). Don't know what to do!! I want to not worry about the future so much and just enjoy the now, but I don't want to waste too much of my life on this if it's not right.
expat2011 expat2011
2 Responses Jan 7, 2013

As my idea, firstly you ask yourself if you still love him and want try something serious with him like marriage...
Then you need to find the answer from him for the same question, if he loves you so much and wanna try for something serious with you or not.
In case the answer is yes. You have to try urself to live Canada independently. Don't think too much about ur past, which just make you upset, and upset your bf too. Relationship only can last if too people are enjoy to be with each other. So try to be happy while you are with him. Of coz you could think that he should help you, share with you, cause you are there just because of him. But that way just make him stress and feel pressure.
In case the answer is no, then i think u'd better go back Australia. :)

I know how you feel,,I was in a simular position when I met my American lady on-line ,,, fortunately she was prepared to come to Australia and we married 9 1/2 yrs ago,,, I had primary school kids at the time so I could never have gone to America,,