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Chinese American

For almost three years now, I have been in an interracial relationship; he is Chinese and I'm a skinny little white girl from Indiana.
For the two of us, one of the best parts of our relationship is experiencing each other's traditions and culture. I love learning about China, and he took me there in 2005. I'm even learning Mandarin now! And on his end, he loves the "midwestern" and "American" culture -- things like country cooking, various "quaint" traditions, etc. It's so fun to watch his face light up when he hears about something new that he wants to try.
Although we might not get as much prejudice as another interracial couple might, sometimes it isn't as easy as I would like. We tend to get a lot of strange looks when we're together in public, especially when we go to visit my parents in Indiana or when we're in China. It's hard to find people who are in our exact situation, especially because he was born in China and his parents still travel back and forth fairly often, and because it's usually white *guys* dating Chinese *girls*.
It can also be frustrating when we visit/talk to my family because they don't understand how China has changed, and they still see it as part of a "yellow peril" or "red country." They haven't seen it through my eyes; they haven't experienced what it's like to actually be in a country so rich with history and tradition. And so they make off-color jokes (which my boyfriend doesn't really take offense to, but I get very embarrassed) and get up in arms when I talk about visiting or living in China.
We don't let it get us down, though, because we know that our love, and the life we have together, is bigger and deeper than the color of our skin or the shape of our eyes or the language we first learned.
lianhua lianhua 21-25, F 10 Responses Nov 2, 2007

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Your story is very inspiring. It's true interracial relationships are quite challenging but true love, the adventure of being in one and the happiness are all worth fighting for.

Hi my name is laura banks and I read your story, I would love to hear more. I am doing some research into Chinese interracial marriages and was wondering if you would be willing to fill in my survey? thank you

I noticed that you are a member of the group about being in an interracial relationship. I am currently working on a TV show, and we have specifically been looking for a couple in an interracial relationship, with a disapproving parent. If this sounds like something that you're familiar with, please give me a call at 212-564-2607 Ex:2317, or email me at Joanna.Zwickel@leftfieldpictures.com<br />
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Hope to hear from you soon!<br />
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Joanna

Hello ,I would like to add a little of my experiance about this topic.After several failed relationships.I decided to take some time off from all things love related, Which ended up turning into six years.I think looking back I just got used to it. Some of the wemon from my past were a bad choice for me,but that was what I beleive I was atracted to and to be fair,maybe they could say the same of me.In late 2004 I wanted to find love again,but I knew I had to try something 180 in method.I will save alot of time in how and fast forward to Fushun China and a woman named Dongmei who is now my wife living with me here in Portland Oregon.I wish we had met twenty years earlier,because this is who I had been looking for,but didn`t know it` until formed on a consious level.I am at work at this time and have alot more to say,but I must leave now and will come back another day.<br />
Paul

Lianhua, good onto both of you! And I can only applaud your integrity to stand by someone you love in the face of discrimination, in the wake of those looks in the street- yes even in the big apple. I also admire your open attitude towards learning different cultures. I for one would never go back to China [to live], I have never been back since I left for NYC when I was a year old. For me it is still the red state, the communistas- for me oppression will never equal harmony. At the same time, I know Chinese culture is special & beautiful.<br />
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The last comment here from hornypony made me want to register to comment; I think you are stereotyping all Dutch women by saying you have not found one that likes Chinese guys. I don't know about the girls form Holland (except that they are hot), but I have been to the Netherlands (5 times so far in about 5 years) and have seen a Dutch vrouw or woman with a Asian guy on the train back in 2007. Yes it's not common, apparently it's not common worldwide. As for a white girl to date a Korean vs Chinese, let me point out to you most white girls atleast here in NYC and thus probably the whole of U.S., wouldn't know the difference (except for kim chi).<br />
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I don't think you are living in the wrong country, it's not only there where you have this...problem. Maybe you will find yourself a hot Romanian girl to call wifey, or why not a lekker Chinees Nederlander [vrouw]? I say live your life, go have fun & you will meet someone special no matter what she looks like.<br />
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I am also a envious jealous Chinese male, but envious that you are living in Holland!!! Nederlands nummer een is!

Hi there,<br />
I am a jealous envious asian chinese male, reading you story as i dream of having my own white girl, which is not gonna happen soon.<br />
Yes it is so true that it is not usual that a chinese man date a white girl (korean men, YES OK, but chinese men, no way)<br />
How come is that?? I have discovered that white women here in Holland are quite scared of chinese men in general. Somehow chinese men are just good for one thing and that is cooking and fighting in movies.<br />
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So far i have not met one girl here that likes chinese guys.<br />
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Maybe i am living in the wrong country.

i'm in a similar situation, also, because i'm white and my boyfriend is korean! it's great

I'll give you a standing ovation.

I love your story,if you two love each other,anything else isn't so important,because your parents love you,they want you to be happy.However,I think you should learn more about chinese culture,because in china,husband's parent have strong effect in their marrige,they want their child's wife to have some traditional virture.So if you want to learn more about china,you can go website http://www.hellomandarin.com

good for you!! too bad there are so many ignorant people in this world!