Maybe He Is The "right"

I was not to fond of "online" or "long distance" relationships due to the fact that I'm very impatient and I'm sort of on the stubborn side (I'm not going to lie). I dated guys were I lived but all of those "local" relationships turned out to be a complete disaster. I rather not go into details with them, because they are very hard stories to talk about. Anyways, I started getting really lonely. I felt unwanted or useless. I am not in close ties with my family either which puts me in more of that unwanted feeling. I don't get along with the majority of them, and I don't see have half of them (Sorry, getting off topic).
So I decided to go online and look for people... Not for a relationship per say, just someone to tell me I was needed, or wanted. I met quite a few people, ranging from good to bad. Some made me feel like an angel while others put me down by saying some real nasty things to me. Earlier in the 2012 year (February), I joined a FaceTime/Skype social website. Almost instantly, I friended this guy. We quickly exchanged messages and added each other on Skype. We didnt cam at first, just Skype IMing. I was uncomfortable about myself and didnt really wanna show him what I looked like. It's not like I didnt have access to a webcam, I just hate myself and my looks. But about a week or two later, we cam'd up for the first time and he just flooded me with all these wonderful compliments. We talked for a good 3 weeks I believe, and we fell hard for each other. He asked me out, and I replied "yes" of course. He was the type that made me (and still does) feel like I was really beautiful, and I was wanted. He was so respectful, caring, loving, and just funny. He made me feel happy (which is very hard to do.)
He lives only a couple of states away from me but we both do live in the United States. Unfortunately, it didn't last long. We broke up in June due to the fact of our age gap and my dad found out about it or at least hinted he knew something was up. I didnt talk to my love for a week to let things thin out. I was depressed, and I was lost. Once again, I was back to square one.
School was over and it was summer time.. I had a lot of free time. We started talking again, and fell for him once again. We admitted we never got over each other. But we stayed as friends. Then something terrible happened, but maybe a miracle.. I lost my memory that summer... but it was only some things that I had forgotten. Like our relationship. I had no recollection of him. (The reason why I know all of the above is because I had him write it down for me, and I have remind every day of how we met and what happened between those months). For 3 weeks, he would send me pictures, old messages, everything he could do.. I was getting frustrated because I was trying so hard to remember yet I couldn't. He cried a lot during those weeks, and that was the first time I ever heard a male cry for me. He really did love me, I thought.
But why would I go out with a complete stranger?
Jumping to November.. I helped him through a bad breakup and we began talking again, very strongly and constantly. We would even sleep together on Skype. I didnt care anymore about what my dad might think. I want to be happy and being with this wonderful guy, he really does make me happy. He asked me out again in December, and I quickly said yes. He is also planning to come meet me this coming March. Super excited for that.
I realize now... Age doesn't matter, what matters is the fact that you truly love that person, and would do anything for him/her. He is planning to meet me this March for my spring break.
A few days ago he even surprised me by saying either next year or the following he wants to propose to me and bring me to his family... I hope it does work out for the better this time around. I really do. I like the the feeling of being loved, because I never was. I like the feeling of finally being happy, and for once not being mad or really pissed off. (Sorry for such a long story, I kinda got into it)
HKluver HKluver
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 5, 2013

Hello HKluver :) I was just wondering how old you are? I myself am/was part on an online relationship which went face-to-face after a year, and I am currently writing about unintentional online romances for my independent study in psychology! I would love if you could help me with that, but unfortunately you have to be 18+..


Sounds like an awesome thing you are doing and yeah unfortunately I wont be 18 for a few more months! D: I would to have participate in such event, but I understand completely! I am glad you offered though! I appreciate that a lot!

HKluver I know how it feels being in love for sure. A great feeling indeed :).... Im in LDR too, well lucky you you wre both in the states but Im in Asia, my bf is in the states :)... but still Love knows no boundaries. But it was terribly tough for being miles away... But well it's just all about PATIENCE, efforts & LOVE to work things out. Good luck for both of you...

Thank you so much and good luck to you too! I have also been in an international relationship! So much harder, yet I think being in LDR makes love so much stronger and greater. I am definitely learning how to be more patient even though it's a little hard for me. Add you're absolutely right, love has no boundaries. Thank you, once again. (: