CryingThe pain I'm in today has brought tears to my eyes, I just want people to know how stress can affect a person with a nerve condition, I have over 30 tumours on my spinal cord and I was vomiting in the early hours and the pain it causes to someone like me because you can't control the wretching at all and the way my spine reacts I lay on the bathroom floor crying in agony but with no help cause I live alone! It is a type of cancer but benign, thank God. I will live a normal length of life, so I've been told. The tears are still coming down my eyes and it affects my emotions aswell and any amount of stress just makes it worse. Mind you I have had stress because the care company who send carers twice a day for half an hour have let me down with the social care I get to help give me a social life, you know going out shopping or to the pub or whatever I chose. Well the only time I want to do something specific and they let me down. Then there is .....it just goes on with other problems like fighting for things your entitled to. Oh then family problems you know all the stuff we keep buried. I do ignore my mind when I'm in a bad way when it wants to play silly buggers cause I know that the body struggles to produce seratonin. But one thing that just goes on constantly is the pain and trust me that alone brings tears to my eyes. It even affects my breathing and I keep sweating so it just feels completely uncomfortable. I wonder how many could live with my condition, am I strong, I know most times if I'm in a positive environment that can really help take the mind off things. I have sciatic pains down both legs all the time and the same pain down my arms in fact the only place that doesn't hurt is my head. So when I get a headache it a full house as they say in bingo halls in England! Can you understand the tears?
Anandadas 41-45, M 4 Responses 0 Jun 11, 2010