The pain I'm in today has brought tears to my eyes, I just want people to know how stress can affect a person with a nerve condition, I have over 30 tumours on my spinal cord and I was vomiting in the early hours and the pain it causes to someone like me because you can't control the wretching at all and the way my spine reacts I lay on the bathroom floor crying in agony but with no help cause I live alone! It is a type of cancer but benign, thank God. I will live a normal length of life, so I've been told. The tears are still coming down my eyes and it affects my emotions aswell and any amount of stress just makes it worse. Mind you I have had stress because the care company who send carers twice a day for half an hour have let me down with the social care I get to help give me a social life, you know going out shopping or to the pub or whatever I chose. Well the only time I want to do something specific and they let me down. Then there is just goes on with other problems like fighting for things your entitled to. Oh then family problems you know all the stuff we keep buried. I do ignore my mind when I'm in a bad way when it wants to play silly buggers cause I know that the body struggles to produce seratonin. But one thing that just goes on constantly is the pain and trust me that alone brings tears to my eyes. It even affects my breathing and I keep sweating so it just feels completely uncomfortable. I wonder how many could live with my condition, am I strong, I know most times if I'm in a positive environment that can really help take the mind off things. I have sciatic pains down both legs all the time and the same pain down my arms in fact the only place that doesn't hurt is my head. So when I get a headache it a full house as they say in bingo halls in England! Can you understand the tears?
Anandadas Anandadas
41-45, M
4 Responses Jun 11, 2010

Hey Christine one thing that has happened to me is that my suffering has made me feel for others more no matter how big or small problems are. No way would I be thinking I'm much worse off, my only desire is if I upset or offend anyone that they forgive me cause I can sometimes feel irritable, but not nasty ever! But sometimes little things can be huge when they are not cause when your in pain it's hard to be rational!

Wow Andy!! *BIG HUGS*<br />
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I can't even begin to imagine what life must be like for you. I know I live with my fair share of pain, but it's nothing in comparison. <br />
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Why is it the people who get paid to come help out, NEVER seem to want to do their jobs? EVER! They just punch a time card. They clock in...go through the motions...and then clock out. =/ I think people that work in such industries should truly have a heart for it. You know? People who don't, people who just show up for the paycheck, **** me off. I'm sorry. But they do!<br />
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I must ask, do you have close friends that you count on? Anyone around other than family, who could help you out from time to time?<br />
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You seem like a person will a strong spririt about them. Keep your chin up honey!! <br />
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Thankyou for your comments they are very much appreciated, sometimes because I meditate that helps a lot because relaxation is the key but not on my back lying flat cause that is a killer for me. I don't feel so desperate today but it still is hurting from yesterday. My old GP/doctor said he admired me because I can still be pleasant and smile for others instead of feeling sorry for myself. I do believe pain is relevant because my first sciatic pains affected me more than they do now because it was a shock but now it is constant and what else can I do but just live with it and try and keep my chin up. I'm one of lifes fighters, so I know I will keep goin on. My heart goes out though to all that are suffering even emotionaly, I wish I could help others.

I for my started to cry as I read this. I'm so sorry that you're in such pain and have to live this way every day. I feel terrible for crying and complaining about my pain now. I suffer with terrible nerve pain, also have fibromyalgia, cancer, a heart device..ah..the list goes on. It's clear I don't need to tell you. I hope you can find the right medicine/therapy combination...something...anything to help ease your pain. I just feel for you hon. I will keep you in my prayer's. Take care hon!