New University....still Feel The Same Way
I am now a sophomore in college. My freshman year was one of the worst 7 months of my life. It was not how I expected my first year of college to be. I was about 5 -6 hours away from home so I only went home on winter and spring break. I was very lonely, isolated, depressed and then I started to have thoughts of "Why am I even in school?" Everyone around me seems to have adapted to the college environment and social life quickly while I seemed to be lost in the world. When I was in high school I had group of close friends so I did not feel this way then. I tried to make new friends during my first year of college but it was not easy. Everyone seemed to be much closed minded, only interested in the social atmosphere of college and not academics, and wanted to be like everyone else but themselves. I thought the reason I did not like college was because the school was not for me so I decided to transfer.
Now as I am in my sophomore year at a different school and closer to home I still feel the same way. The only good thing is people are more open minded here and more take their education seriously but I am still suffering from the problem of finding a small group of people I can call friends to hang out with. I think since I am not like the average girl or the average college student and I am not very outgoing, sometimes shy until you really get to know me, and I am interested in more than what the average teenager or young adult is interested in it is hard for me to make friends in college. Everyone gets sucked into of what society believes is acceptable and if you are not like the rest of society then you are not accepted. At home I am a complete different person than I am in college. Everyone thinks I am very smart both academically and street smart, funny, laid back, chilled, nice, sweet, truthful, cool person to know and have as a friend. In college since everyone seems to act the same and is scared of change nobody knows how I really am so I tend to stay too myself a lot.
Sometimes since I really have no one to connect to in college I get depressed and start thinking what if I drop out of the traditional college and go to school online.