I Am In Debt
I used to have a good paying job working contract work on a great project at IBM. That eventually went to the way side and in the meantime my mom got sick and eventually died 9 months later. When She died i went crazy with money. I bought a motorcycle and eventually moved to Seattle buying a trailer and a new truck. I had also started to smoke marijuana and drink again after 14 years off the stuff. I got so caught up in living the lifestyle, living in an imaginary dream world where credit was easy. I had decided to change careers and become a screenwriter/producer having got experience in Austin where I used to live. I had no idea what it was going to be like. I didn't know how difficult it was going to be to get a screenplay out that was decent.
It was crazy. I remember when it seemed like it was going to come to an end and how scary that was going to be. I still couldn't admit it to myself. I started to get more heavy into drugs and that was insanity in itself. Before my life had fallen apart completely before. when the door started to shut it was the most horrible experience in my life. My integrity was totally gone. Creidt cards where lowering my limits and many of them stopped working. It was hard to believe that I went from being responsible and owning my place to totally destroying my life. I felt so bad for a long period of time. I just wanted life to end. I was spiritually bankrupt. I started to do bankruptcy but got real scared that the creditors would try to file criminal charges on me. I head that they could make that happen and honestly I surely deserved it. I was I had racked up over 175k in consumer debt at the time including interest and such. It was so freaky to start to look at it. It even shocked the lawyer I was talking to about it.
Right now I have been unemployed for quite some time with a few small contracts in over two years. I have manage to mess up a few bank accounts having never done that before in my whole life. I owe the IRS taxes from unemployment payments and from cashing in an IRA. It is crazy. Thankfully I only have myself to support. But it seems there is no light at the end of the tunnel. My faith has gone down the toilet so to speak, I need God and find that hard to see within myself.
It was crazy. I remember when it seemed like it was going to come to an end and how scary that was going to be. I still couldn't admit it to myself. I started to get more heavy into drugs and that was insanity in itself. Before my life had fallen apart completely before. when the door started to shut it was the most horrible experience in my life. My integrity was totally gone. Creidt cards where lowering my limits and many of them stopped working. It was hard to believe that I went from being responsible and owning my place to totally destroying my life. I felt so bad for a long period of time. I just wanted life to end. I was spiritually bankrupt. I started to do bankruptcy but got real scared that the creditors would try to file criminal charges on me. I head that they could make that happen and honestly I surely deserved it. I was I had racked up over 175k in consumer debt at the time including interest and such. It was so freaky to start to look at it. It even shocked the lawyer I was talking to about it.
Right now I have been unemployed for quite some time with a few small contracts in over two years. I have manage to mess up a few bank accounts having never done that before in my whole life. I owe the IRS taxes from unemployment payments and from cashing in an IRA. It is crazy. Thankfully I only have myself to support. But it seems there is no light at the end of the tunnel. My faith has gone down the toilet so to speak, I need God and find that hard to see within myself.
By:
rmclin
Age:
51-55
,
Male
