I Am In Debt

How Much Further Can He Drag Us Down??

By: singlemom85

Written on October 24th, 2011

My wonderful husband of 3 years is hurting us bad. Recently he has received 3 payday loans behind my back and he still wants more. I told him not to get anymore when I found out about these and that you cannot pay a loan with another loan. The next morning I woke up to him applying for 2 more. We have 3 small children 8,7, and 3 and I cannot do this anymore. This past year he has disappointed me and just made me lose any ounce of trust I had for him. I am a full-time student working towards my law degree and I have had to go back to work full-time as well to help cover the bills, the loan payments take half his check now. We are barely scrapping by and my wedding rings are sitting at my local pawn shop. I am tired of his lies and deceits and know I can do this on my own if I have to. I just don't know how much longer I can continue to check his stuff to make sure he's not getting more loans, he is still applying for them and researching more just not completing the process. I feel as if the love and trust I have for him is all gone and I am at my wits end. I feel as if kicking him out before he completely sinks us would be best but I don't want to do anything that's rash or completely unfair. Am I wrong for feeling this way or are my feeling justified by his actions this past year?? So confused and hurt just needed a listening ear and possibly some words of unbiased wisdom!!

By: singlemom85

Age: 26-30 , Female

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5 responses

singlemom85

Again thank everybody for your advice and I have decided a divorce would be my best option. After catching him on dating sites again and him once again trying to lie his way out of it I have decided this is not what I want anymore. I know it will be hard on me for a while but it is best for everyone. Again thank you all!!!

Oct 28, 2011
1 like
birbalsco2000

plan for a split when you are ready & prepared. maybe your parents can help out. try all avenues. he is not going to change

happines4u

Oct 27, 2011
2 likes
Gwanji

somehow, whether through counseling, or conversation, or howerver you can do it, for the sake of your children and your financial future you simply must regain control over your life, because the partnership one normally expects in a relationship simply is not there. this is not going to happen ion its own, my friend. you have got to do something; he will not. even if you go to counseling on your own, that may help. but as it stands, this situation is toxic for you and the kids.

Oct 25, 2011
2 likes
singlemom85

Thank you both so much for your advice. As far as counseling he always agrees to go and then backs out when it comes time to and as far as me doing this to him. If I was to of put him through half the stuff he has put me through this past year he would of been gone. I think the main thing keeping him around is my ambition and he knows I will do what it takes to make sure the children are tooken care of.

Oct 25, 2011
1 like
Gwanji

you are absolutely not wrong for feeling this way! what is he doing with the mney he's borrowing? it doesn't sound like he's using it for you and your family. i would not speculate on what he is using it for, but that may be a key to either getting him to stop or solving the problem. (i.e. some gambling addiction). at your school, you likely have a counselor who can help you sort things out. but i think these loans generally have high interest rates attached to them, which is why they are so easy to get. these people take advantage of those who need money right away or cannot get loans through banks and such. regardless, he will sink you and your family (not to mention hurt your own credit rating), so get some help fast! counseling would be a great start, followed by a monthly budget.

Oct 25, 2011
1 like

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