I'm not really even sure how to describe it. Love might not even be the right word. but its' definitely something and its CERTAINLY complicated!

I dated this guy about three years ago, and we were really close - the relationship was great and everything, but after about 6 months he cheated on me with a girl three years younger (wth?) and we broke up. i was really hurt and didn't speak to him at all for a long time, but about 8 months ago we started talking again and i realized that somewhere along the line - i dont know when, i dont know how and i don't know why - i forgave him completely. (they broke up after like three months or some such)

we've been getting really close again - realizing that we've been in other relationships since and have had really similar problems in them (we're both really easily suffocated... we both thrive on imperfections...a lot of things) which other people have a really hard time understanding. summary: we should date again. and we both know it. but neither of us wants to admit it - once or twice when one or both of us has been drunk we've discussed it.  we've got a lot in common, value wise, and we've definitely still got the chemistry.


in any case, it just got a lot more complicated: he has been 'exclusively seeing' this girl for a while (which i dont really mind... i've been 'unexclusively seeing' a bunch of guys. plus right now he's about 8 hours away. and is during most summers.) and now theyre trying the 'officially dating' thing. THAT part somehow really got to me. like..he'll be less than an hour away when we go back to school in a few weeks...and he's going to try and date this girl living 8 hours back home? i feel like it's a really bad decision on his part, and yes, jealousy is probably a part of my weird-feeling right now.

annnnyway - i just really feel like i want to try being with him again..but i also don't want to - logically i really don't want to, but ALSO logically i really DO want to! it's soooo confusing and i just had to write it out somewhere where neither he nor our friends will see.

GypsySweetheart GypsySweetheart
22-25, F
1 Response Aug 14, 2007

I have one comment for you that you need to remember and never forget. <br />
<br />
"Once a cheater always a cheater."<br />
<br />
Never forget this! Read it 100 times, write it 100 times, what ever it takes.