Torn Apart And Unhappy

well im 27 and torn apart between two woman, one is the mother of my first child and the other is someone i get along with very well and have feeling about her. i do love my sons mother but im not in love with her and the other woman i do care a great deal about her and its tearing me apart because i don't want to hurt my sons mother and end up losing my son but im not happy being with his mother because it feels like all she wants to do is control my life the way she sees fit and im losing my mind over it i don't know how to tell her that i don't want to be with her anymore. this other woman i met when me and my sons mom were split she helped me realize a few thing about my self helped me find my self again and we had fun together and gave each other space. but Ive been told by a few people that i should just ride it out with my sons mother it will get better but it hasn't i still feel the same and but i just don't know how to tell her. please i need some advice
monsternac monsternac
2 Responses Dec 21, 2010

Tell her. Im a woman in your other womans shoes. I left my fiance of six years and i truly think he wants to leave her..... You cant help who you love, you dont always meet the one the first time...sometimes you just start living life with a person and grow to love them and tell yourself its committment but then you meet someone you fall in love with.... I think its so wrong to accept to be controlled by someone thats okay with controlling you.. ESPECIALLY when your one of the lucky me. Situations like this... We didnt go to love.... Love happened... And things happen for a reason. As for the child.... I have an eight month old...them an eight year old, happy parents though apart, are more capable of supporting their childs needs, then together and miserable. Listen to counting stars by one republic and do your part. Loves done its part. God Fate whatever you choose to call it.

Honestly, like I have told many of my friends who say "I don't want to hurt him/her." No matter matter what you say or do, generally the other person is going to be hurt just like you in some ways. You may not cry it out, you may not yell, they may not avoid you and it may all be mutual but that doesn't mean they aren't going to be hurt. I think once you realize that it may help you. You say you love the mother of your child which I assume is your girlfriend. However, you only care a great deal about the other woman, not love her. Could this be a possible infatuation or maybe you're smitten? If you do not feel that it is infatuation or that you're smitten then you should precede with caution because she can still be a possible rebound and if you feel that she isn't then I still suggest to be careful. Also if you're not happy where you are you should try counseling, talking, maybe there is a reason your girlfriend is controlling that can be resolved. However, this is all up to you as in if you really want to fight for your relationship before you move on or if you have exhausted everything you felt possible or necessary to try for and she just doesn't pull through.<br />
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She cannot prohibit you from seeing your son you can fight for your rights so don't even worry about it. However, no one can tell you to leave her as it is a decision you have to make and no one else this is your life. We're only given one life to live and trust me it isn't an easy one but I prefer the challenges because the end: I'm stronger, wiser, and can help people even more who may have gone through the situation. So you do what you feel is best and you sit her down and have a chat with her. However, you should still be careful with the other woman. Sometimes when we're happy in relationships or assume we are some what content with them, there is a person who comes along and may help us to get an epiphany about things in life. Or help us to see things in a better perception and we began to fall for them or at least assume we have these feelings for them which they might be short lived, which is all why I ask you to be careful. In the end you may not find green grass on the other side it may be rotting and just have green paint on it. So please, do what you feel is best for your best interest.