In Love With A Cartoon Character...Well, I typed in 'Dealing with being in love with a fictional character' into Google, and I ended up on this site. I've been in love with the same cartoon character for nearly 7 years. Yes, I know, lots of people get crushes on cartoon or anime characters, and it usually only lasts a year or two, and then they move into another character. I kind of had that mentality when I first got a HUGE crush on this character from a cartoon show. I figured in about a year or two, my obsession would ware off, or I would just eventually get over him.
Well, years past...and to this day, I still feel absolutely, undeniably, in love with this cartoon character. It's certainly no longer a crush. I have this mental, psychological need for this character in my life, and I love him deeply, like a lover, like a family member, like a brother. To be honest...he's the only boy i've ever loved. I've never loved, or even had a crush on a real person before, and even just admitting that to myself feels weird.
I think about him every single day of my life. He's the last thought on my mind as I fall to sleep at night, and my first thought as I wake up in the morning. Even though he's a fictional character, he's changed my life so drastically. I feel this emptiness inside of me...a little bit every day, thinking about how he's not real, how I can't ever speak to him, or touch him, or tell him how much I love him. It makes my chest feel like it's going to burst. Oddly enough, at the same time, this character makes me feel not alone...Like there's someone else in my life, deep inside of me, even when the entire world seems to be against me, I still have him. I'm not sure if I believe in soulmates, but if such a thing existed, I think this character would be my soulmate.
When this cartoon was cancelled years ago, I spiralled into a horrible state of depression. I felt like he had died, and my world was falling apart. It hurt SO much, more than anyone who has never experienced it could ever imagine. The depression took about 4 years to fully heal...and I had to convince myself that despite how I feel, he's a cartoon character, and cartoon characters don't die...I'm really glad that period of my life is over.
I still watch repeats of this show all the time, just to get a high from seeing the character and hearing the sound of his voice...Alot of the time I just like to pretend he's a real person. Sometimes he feels more real to me than any of my friends...sometimes even my family. I feel like such an outcast and so is this character, perhaps that's why I feel like I can relate to him so much. I think one of the worst things about being in love with a fictional character is the fact that no one really takes your love seriously. They just kind of chuckle or roll their eyes, "Yep, you're way too obsessed!" Or they don't really take too much concern during those times I've locked myself in my room for nearly full days crying, because they know it's only over a tv show. I know it sounds absurd, but I wish they would understand, it's NOT just a cartoon to me!...it's more than that. The pain I feel for him is no different than any pain someone would feel for a real person. I wish I knew more people in real life who could relate to me...
Yes, I know at times my love has been unhealthy, and loving this character sometimes hurts alot. On the other hand, this character makes me feel SO happy, I'm so glad someone created him, because I know what I'm feeling is love, and naturally, love is a wonderful feeling. I feel like I could curl up beside him and die happy. Besides, real relationships have their highs and lows too, so why should I force myself to stop loving this character? It's bound to happen eventually, so why push it? Although I always wish there was some way I could be with this character, it makes me feel like screaming! I've always wished I could just wake up in a cartoon world one day...
Toontard 16-17 107 Responses 24 Jun 27, 2011