He Never Came From A Book Or Film, But....

I can always sympathise with those who fall for a 'real' fictitious character- funny to say that- because I think we usually fall for 'fictitious' real characters. As I have explained in one of my previous reply posts, I think we fall in love with the idea of a person, more than the person him/herself. So, I can fully understand those who, for some reason, take this experience to an extreme.

My story begins: 
He was there, my lover. Big handsome man, as I like it. We were living a fantasy, a beautiful one, very far fetched from our daily and mundane 'realities.' The passion was strong and intense. Epic, as he used to say. He refused to call it fantasy, maybe due to the intensity of our feelings.
So, I play again on the same note- What is reality? What is fantasy? A fine line between them remains yet it never breaks. Why? We need the structure of our routines to pay the bills, to bring the bread to the table, to keep our houses and streets clean. We call that sanity, even if we break down, and those who disrupt the 'fine line'  might be called insane. So, let's call fantasy 'alternative reality' and reality 'aspiring fantasy,' as we all dream, we all want that extra more, we all aspire to get out of our shells, our hard-to-break cocoons and our comfort zones. We may take the wrong paths to our secret realities or fantasies, but if we ever don't, we die in life, or we eat too much, drink too much, smoke, drug ourselves with all sorts, even with sex and romance.

He called himself Stewart. It wasn't his real name. He gave me a different name at first, a different married life story, a different persona which lives inside him, but never comes out, unless he's in 'alternative reality.' He lied to me. My reality streak was telling me to leave him, but his mesmerising blue eyes sent me out into my depths of escapism and I stayed. Only to be faced with the mundane reality of a heartbreak later, of course. I knew it, but wtf? I wanted to live!

Now, here I am, no different to any of you suffering from a broken heart at the realisation your film or book characters don't exist. But who says they are less real than my fat lover's ever been?

The beauty of all this is that 'alternative realities' strike a chord! It makes us more sensitive and empathic to real pain out there. It gives us the courage to review who we are and build us into who and what we are really supposed to be- in our aspiring fantasies....aka, reality...
Sam2Sam Sam2Sam
36-40, F
2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

Just Know , Rose, there are people who do want you happy. I am one of them. I'm exploring new things, I have kept secret from my family. I'm glad we talk like we do.

Holy ****. This reminds me so much of what happened with me and Simon. *hugs* I am sorry this happened to you.

We seem to have a lot in common when it comes to men. We still seem to be trying to mend our broken hearts. I'm glad that sharing these stories bring us together *hugs*