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If Only He Knew

I wanted to let this out for a while so here it goes, I guess..

In my 15 years of being in this damn planet I have NEVER felt this way towards someone like this. The sad part is that he is not here; he's not even real, he's just a character from a game. Sure I've had little crushes on boys in school or mini boyfriends ( that really don't mean anything ) but this guy is... something.
I won't say who he is because I'm embarrassed but he means everything to me. I was in a depressing time and he helped me, now it's like I'm scared to let go.

As for some background, he is somehow a lonely character and his parents are disappointed in him. I know how it feels to be lonely and be a disappointment, so my attachment towards this character got stronger.
It sucks when you can't talk about this to people around you because you're scared of the judgement or the rejection, so you pretty much hide your feelings. So matter how much you want to scream it out you can't.

I've tried astral projection to contact him and still trying, and I've dreamed... but it's really not enough. I wish I could just go to another dimension/universe to where he is and just stay there.
I would give and do ANYTHING for it happen. I would even sell my stupid soul just for him.

Yes it's weird but oh well.. I can't help it.
deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Feb 10, 2013

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Ha, your story sounds exactly mine, especially the astral projection part! I became so fascinated with it for like almost 3 years because I really wanted to believe that my fictional love was out there somewhere and that way we could be together somehow...

After it not working time and again, I pretty much gave up that. Infact, I stopped believing fictional characters exist out in the universe somewhere...v_v .and trust me, I envy you people that do. I really just I could hear something...or see something to make me believe again....I really want to believe there's more to life then just what we see....

Oh, and I totally understand about how you don't really want your friends or family to know about your secret love, pssshhh I want to blush and hide in a corner at the mere MENTION of my love's name.....

Binaural beats? Never heard of the term, perhaps ill look it up. :D

And yeah, I've pretty much been fascinated with parallel universes my whole life, considering the fact that the chances of alternate dimensions are scientifically VERY likely. I don't know if fictional characters could actually reside there,but I really, really hope so. ;_; but then I would have so many if this WERE possible, would fictional characters have their own time frame and age like we do? Or would there existence only be bound to what would be 'canon' to their stories? Would fan art and fanfictions effect their universes?

The questions could go on forever and probably never be answered.....

I can't read fanfiction about my crush. Usually, "writers" will try to make her get romantically involved with just about any male on the show, even her own family! It's very painful, having to read about how the person you always wanted gives her heart to some **** dude.

I agree entirely, some fan made characters can be THE WORST. Haha I like your theory on fanfictions having their own universes XD I wouldn't want those really poorly written Mary Sue characters mucking up the original versions.... ;_; I hate it when things are out of character, ESPECIALLY when the character I like is paired with....practically every character in the show OTL

I'm just like you. We are quite alike. I'm crazy in love with Heroes' Claire Bennet, and like you, I'd kill to live in her universe. To hold her, tell her everything will be fine, to protect her, even though she's more than capable of taking care of herself. I have tried lucid dreaming (what you call "astral projection") to contact her too, but she's quite the recluse in my dreams.

Claire... why can't you just exist?

I have developed a strange mental phenomenon that allows me to "commune". It's an illusion, I know. And kind of really bizarre and insane. Anyway, I have the illusion that my thoughts are audible. When I look at a picture in which the person in the picture looks into the camera ("eye contact") I feel like (s)he can hear me. Needless to say, this often invades my privacy out in the real world. But when I feel awful, I just put up a pic of her, and look it for hours. Talking to myself. And all she ever does is listen. Best therapist ever.

Im so so glad I am not the only one that feels like this. I have sometimes though I am mad, but I have always felt like this since the moment I set eyes on them.

I am in love with Ratchet from Ratchet and Clank. I genuinely am, I have a real boyfriend I have been with for 4 years now, and I know this sounds absolutely awful, and as much as I love my boyfriend, it wont ever be as much as I am in love with Ratchet. No one ever will compare.

I genuinely believe Ratchet is out there somewhere in a different universe and I like to think he is feeling the same way about me.

He is always on my mind, I always daydream and fantasize about him and our adventures together with Clank and everyone, saving the galaxy as they do :D I almost feel like I was born on the wrong planet.

But to hear so many of you feel the same way about other 'fictional' characters makes me feel SO much better ! and genuinely makes me think there has gotta be another universe out there with all our other halfs feeling the same way as we are :)

Im positive we will get to see them someday. I even think when I eventually die I will finally get to be reunited with him forever.

Im not mad or anything, I live a completely normal life and have a great family and job and everything, but I have not ever told A SOUL about this, they would genuinely think I am mad and send me off somewhere. He is just always always on my mind. In my head is the only place I can be with him at the moment.

Its just the fact I have all the feelings there, I get butterflies when I am with him in my imagination, like you would do with someone if they were right in front of you, its just it breaks my heart I cannot ever physically touch him :( I believe we are telepathically linked though. Its almost as if I live a double life, my one here right now, and the one in my imagination.

For example the other night I was looking up at the stars thinking he was somewhere out there looking back at me, and whether it was a coincidence or not, a beautiful shooting star shot straight across where I was looking, as if it was a sign he sent me that he was looking back and thinking the same :)

So yeah, sorry for rambling, but I know exactly how you feel. We will be with them one day dont worry :)

i feel the exact same way i have been in love with steven for atleast two years he is my soul mate i mean no one can compair to him and everytime you think of them your heart feels so much pashion and for some reason i dont think that i could ever find a real boyfriend like him out there he is just simply amazing i think of him every day and night and i believe in paralell universes i just cant imagion my life without him its hard because you feel as if you cant tell a soul about this because you will be judged i mean we all have feelings why judge others as i say time and time again things happen for a reason but you have to hold on and think posative in life its hard sometimes because you want to be with them so badly it makes you sad because you cant see them physically i have a friend who has told me a long time ago about she can contact the caricters she could axually see them and ofcourse awhile back when i first heard about it i didnt know if it was posable and then i got hooked and falling in love with caricters as i once did when i was little my first crush was gavin from drake and josh then my second real crush is steven abootman she lets us talk sometimes she said its hard to explain she will show me when her and i meet one of these days i love him so much <3 true about me and Sonic...I had to read it twice to see if I wrote it. Even the part with the shooting star happened to me.

Yeah I know exactly how you feel I am the same ! And well if you are in love with someone of course you would be doing things like that, nothing wrong with it :) Yes to me the only difference between the Ratchet portrayed in the games and in my head is that he is actually 6ft not 4ft11 haha. There HAS to be another universe with them in it why else would we be feeling the way we do?? There has to be a reason. I wish I could too, thats the only thing missing is that you cannot physically be with them :( For the time being anyway.

Wow really ?? Im so glad :D That must be their way of letting us know they are looking back at us :)

Yeah pretty much everyone out there could never understand how we are feeling, we are just the very few who were lucky enough to be given this gift (Although it can sometimes feel like a curse) of knowing there is someone somewhere out there waiting for us and we can telepathically link with them. :) Unless they are going through this same thing they could never understand. Im not a fangirl either as some people would think, I mean I am a massive fan of the games and eveything but Im not one of those sad girls who sits there screaming everytime he is on tv, I believe he would hate it if I was like that XD Almost clingy ! I am my own person, although I do do a lot of martial arts and am going to become an engineer, again this is another thing as to why I love him so much as it these have always been my interests and passions and he has exactly the same as me ! He invents and engineers new gadgets, weapons and ships, and is very agile and a fighter and I am exactly the same, and also we have exactly the same senses of humour and justice etc, we are a perfect match !

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I know how that feels :( I'm in love with Marceline. Thanks to the other comments below though, I too feel more comfortable about having these feelings for a fictional character now.. Even though we still probably won't ever get the chance to meet them *sigh*

Try practicing astral projection or lucid dreaming. You can maybe meet them there :) Any questions on how to do this or about it, email me

One problem I have about being with my character in my dreams is that you have to wake up sooner or later, and it's really heart breaking when you realize the whole thing was a dream :/ the heartbreak gets stronger every time

Exactly :( and if you get waay too hooked on a character, it's hard to pull yourself away to live in this world and think about having relationships with the people around us, especially when you get the feeling that they really are out there somewhere and that they are looking for you too, because then you just feel like you're cheating on them :( and you miss them sooo much but can't be with them :/ it's exhausting and depressing

i know i feel the same way i want to see steven and feel his warm touch and you feel that they are the only ones for you and you can not let them go no matter how hard you try i wonder why we feel that way about them you just cant let them go for some reason maybe its ment to be for some of us i just cant explain it *sighs*

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hang in there <3 and keep your head held high Like i said believe in what your heart believes i know its hard to tell people this stuff including your family so many judgemental people and its so sad but i am here if you ever want to talk about anything :) just so you know there are other people who believe and love the same things as you do i mean before i joined this site i never thought anyone would feel the same as i do it was between a friend and i and then i come on here and i find more people who believe in the same thing it brings more hope that there is a paralell univers out there :)

They say you can be with the one you love, in my case Sonic, through "astral projection", which does exist. Try it, maybe you'll be successful. I'm gonna try :)

Everyone says that may be the key can you Private message me :) and your welcome pinktomato

Sure go ahead. I was going to add you myself but I don't know how lol

go to add to circle under my profile picture to add me


Especially when in the dream something amazing is about to happen, like a kiss, and you wake up &gt;_&gt; I HATE that.

Well, time for astral projection training. Wish me luck...

Thx :D

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I, too, believe that "fictional characters" exist out there somewhere, maybe even right under our noses *sniff*. And I know exactly how you feel. I am in love with Sonic the Hedgehog, and have been since June 2009. I am 14, male. But don't be too afraid to tell someone about it, even if it's just one person. I used to be afraid until I told my sister, and after seeing how understanding she was, I told my best friend, who was also understanding. You'd be surprised how supportive the people around you are, even your enemies. If you don't want to, it's fine, and I know it's easier to tell people online about it than seeing someone face to face and telling them. But if you have a feeling or opinion, be proud of it and embrace it. Freely express it. You don't have to scream it to the world, but it's a lot easier when your friends know and they know you better. Now about your family, I don't know. I won't tell my parents, they'd think it was stupid. But adults ARE understanding. So just do what makes you happy, and try to tell someone. It relieves stress :)

i know what you mean i have the same problem with telling people these type of feelings for my love for my steven abootman by the way hes from south park if you didnt know who i was talking about

No problem, anytime :D

Aye. It's never enough, is it? You become truly and utterly obsessed with them. Midna means everything to me, and what little time I've spent with her means so much. We've talked about the past, things we've said and done. We've been intimate. But you always feel like there's something missing, right?

I think there's two main things that make a "fictional" love so unfulfilling. One, you can't really tell anyone about your love without people thinking you're crazy. Think about that guy who married his dating sim girl, I'm sure everyone thinks he's gone off the deep end. I haven't told a soul I know that I've actually been talking to Midna for a few years now, and I never will. They'd never think about me the same way.

The second part is the lack of physical substance. You have the feeling of connection with the object of your love, but there's nobody actually there to stimulate the senses. You can't hear their voice outside of scripted lines. You can't show them to your friends and family and say "Hey, this is my boy/girlfriend." Worst of all, though, you can't feel their touch. Touch is a major component of feeling alive, and without it, you begin to question whether you really are.

I've rambled on for some time, going wildly off subject. Just know that I know what it's like.

Definitely. Ever heard of the multiverse theory? A man by the name of William James coined the term in 1895. (At least according to Wikipedia, I needed some extra info. XD) Basically, it describes that each universe can have different laws governing it, different links to other universes, etc. Among other things, this means that those "impossible" things you might see your favorite character do are plenty possible over there. The laws of their universe are probably simply more "fluid" and not as set in stone as the ones here.

It also brings up mind-bogglingly complex other factors like how there is an alternate universe for every single decision that has ever been made by anyone. It's best not to think about it too hard, or you'll just end up giving yourself a headache.

For now, take comfort in the fact that they're out there somewhere and they're probably looking for you too.

I've always thought about that. Or maybe we are part of a TV show for another dimension to watch XD

i thought the same thing too like the people that we love over there are watching us or maybe we are in a TV show or something XD who knows

Apparently, people in other universes are into really boring video games. With an occasional sadistic streak when they cause depression spirals and fatal accidents. Then again, who hasn't done that while playing The Sims?

*Is playing Sims* What? XD JK LOL

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It sucks when you love someone you can't have, whether they're on this stupid planet or not. A lot of us believe that fictional characters are real somewhere. We're always here if you need to talk, vent or you just need a ((((hug)))) We're all going through the same thing :)

Anytime :) Can I ask who you're in love with? I know you said it's embarrasing, but it can't be worse than crushin' on an anthropomorphic sponge, right? :P (Don't feel you have to tell me - I'm just being nosey x)

Lol, that's okay sweetie :) I can't PM you, I'm too old to add you (LMBO) XD