In Love With My Own Character...

I am in love with my OWN story character, one that I just made up, around three years ago. Most people woulden't see him as perfect (His mother is either dead/left him, and his dad is a rich SOB to everyone but his own son, thankgoodness.)

I know he's not real. But I keep having dreams about him. I keep thinking about him, and our 'life' together (basically my life now but with him in it.)

I have never had a real boyfriend, or ever been on a date (I have been asked once or twice, but I always reply with a funny, yet subtle, 'no.')

Whenever I listen to a good song, if I'm in the mood I'll just create a music video in my head with him in it. I sound SO crazy, but when I really think about it, Edward Cullen has just as many girls who are head over heels for him, and he is just a fictional character, too.

We want what we can't have. And it hurts knowing that they're not real, and it hurts that I have a fake number on my phone with his name listed as a contact. It hurts that, even though you can't hug him or kiss him, he'll always be there in your mind, in your stories that you write, in your diary.

I don't know WHY I love him, I just do. And yes, it sucks.

I guess this is one of those things that you can't live with...but you can't live without...

ShinyStar ShinyStar
41 Responses Aug 24, 2009

I know the feeling...
at least it's not just me.
Mine is...a bit complicated. I started having..."visions"..."daydreams"...whatever you want to call high school. He started appearing, and when he heart started aching. He seemed to be trapped somewhere in the "visions". It was almost always the same one. There's a story that I've re-written on many of my birthdays. It's sort of a tradition. I don't think I wrote it last year, though. Anyway...he became part of it. He became my "true love". After a lot of research, though...I think "twin flame" fits better. I've been in a few real relationships. None of them worked out. I've been cheated on and hurt repeatedly. I've come to the conclusion that I can't handle "real" people. At least...not in relationships. The horrible thing is that I know I need someone. I can't let go of that need for some reason. I'm not very independent due to how I was raised. It hurts that he's not real. I have a fantasy prone personality, and I know I don't always make sense to people...because I'm stuck in my world. This "real" world scares me. I don't fit here. I can't escape to the fantasy world like I want to. So I've thought of writing books...making video games...virtual reality...even artificial intelligence. The best I can do for have "conversations" with him in my head.
The song "Flames" by V.A.S.T. is one of my favorite songs...

I also have Emily. She has..."existed" in my head longer than he has. She started as a little girl and "grew up". I consider her a best friend. Strangely...she gives better advice than I do.

That'a pretty interesting actually. I'm a screenwriter. And I think that I may be developing feelings for one of my characters. She's a villain, but she's beautiful, graceful, and enchantingly angelic. The more you write, the more time you get to spend with them. As a writer, it's normal to really get into our characters. Our characters are our best friends. We have to spend time with them, so we can sell our creation and show the world our imagination. Keep writing. But don't let fantasy consume your reality.

I've been in love with Amber for as long as I can remember, I don't even know exactly when I started thinking about her (I've found drawings of her from when I was 12) for the most part I've tried to keep her in the back of my mind, but seeing as she's probably the most stubborn girl on the planet, I've realised it's futile to try. I've had a gf in the past (real one) but it didn't work out, and afterword I remember it was Amber who comforted me, in fact I look back on all the times I've been depressed it was always Amber who'd comfort me, but I'd always shrug off her advice assuming it was my own and later I'd end up using that very advice. it seems weird to say this, and the only reason I'm online talking about this now is because I found a movie on Netflix with this very concept (Ruby Sparks) when I read the description of it, I thought to myself, holy **** I'm not the only one. now after watching it I've been filled with hope to bring her to life. Amber isn't the only person I've made up though, Sato has been around for about the same amount of time Amber has and then there's TAK. TAK is something I can't describe, I will say that he's a figment of my imagination or a god that is the universe experiencing itself or a revent demon of great strength or the pure embodiment of nothing itself, I can't say for sure, yet I know for a fact that TAK exists. the first signs of TAK's influence in my life can be seen as far back as my 6 year old scribbles. it's to TAK that I make my wishes and it wouldn't surprise me if Amber and Sato are the results of my wishes for love and friendship. Sato is an eccentric intellect that seems to have far too much energy for someone who knows nothing outside the world of computers and mechatronics (fields I have nearly no knowledge of), if he shows up it's because something went wrong or he wants to use me as a guinea pig for some invention. despite having all this energy, he's the most patient guy I've ever met, a lot like me he spends a lot of time in his own head. Amber is, in a word, passionate. every emotion she feels is outwardly expressed in true sincerity, she couldn't lie if her life depended on it. I've never seen anyone as sad or as happy as she can get and 1 look into her eyes and you feel every emotion just the way she is like some magical empathy spell, yet you'll always be left wondering if there's more she isn't showing, even the most sincere person alive must have some emotions buried down and for the most part I think those are the emotions she has towards her mother and father. her father raised her, a man by the name of Douglas, noone knew his last name. he was the kind of guy that would beat you bloody then stitch up your wounds himself, and Amber loved her father, he was her hero. he died when she turned 10 and had to move in with her mother, which she's telling me is not a topic I can discuss on the internet so we'll leave it at that. it's times like these I wish to TAK that she become real, I've asked Sato if he'd wanna become real and he said it'd be a bummer to have to follow the laws of physics. if anyone has brought their loves to life, please tell me how

Thank you for posting your Story. I just thought im totaly insane since i have a boyfriend since 1 1/2 years and today i made my character it was like my first real love came true. i never loved someone as deeply as i fel in love with my character that was what i was thinking after i finished him. Now he is looking at me and i really would love to meet my imagination just once. It's really touching to draw him. Im so happy to hear that other people share the same feelings about their artistic inspiration.

I'm a guy and I've created my own female character that I fell in love with... I think about her all the time. I too have never been in a relationship, so maybe that's why we're like this..? So glad to know I'm not alone...

I'm so happy to know there are other people like me!! :'D It hurts so bad. :(

I love to make characters. I made a male protagonist and introduced him to my close friends by showing them a couple of drawings and a piece of paper with his personality description . Few of them fell in love with him, they said his imperfections made him perfect and he is the opposite of a guy. I love my main character for my own reason and not romantically. Then I wanted him to have someone, so hence I made another character; his love interest. It turned out she had a really important role in my fiction and I love her so much.

My best friend R ,also made two characters; male and female. So we decided to make a fiction using our characters. It was so much fun. We would sat down for almost an hour making the storyline and laughing. Then, my characters list began to increase as I made more and more characters. Also same goes to R. We had the older characters which consist of young adults and the teen characters( R calls them "the younger generation" ). We mainly focused on the older characters, because they're a lot more interesting to work with. My main character is in the older group.

Introducing my characters to my friends makes me elated. I always let myself to drift into my innerworld before going to bed every night. I told my best friend on how much my characters meant to me and she thought it was cute and sad for all writers. Sometimes I am anguish they're not "real" real. I want to see them so badly, walking and talking. Basically, watching them all interacting to one another , watching them LIVING and like you said they're real but merely unreachable :(

As a writer, as an artist, I have a theory for you too as an artist: a brain cell and the universe were photographed and put side by side, identical. so if our world is a person's dream, story, etc. then your character is technically real, not fake, but unreachable from where you are. Like other people say, the only way to reach him is through a story... Where you two can finally meet

Write a story where you two meet and fall in love. It'll help you cope, as you'll be able to live with him in one world.

I have the same problem, and practically do the same things. I draw him all the time... It just hurts so much...

You morph into a character which is not a bad thing at all; it's your creativity and imagination. Actually, when it is in your head like that you should really upload it. It'll make a great video.

..well not absurd sorry no offense I just couldn't think of the right word to use, and you're right about pple loving fictional characters. (: why else would there be series of books based on solely one character. sorry maybe it's just your ideal man, and your in love with your own idea- fictional charecter/fictional boyfriend. Sounds less absurd that way.

You created that character from yourself; the product of your imagination, experience, artistic nature, and creative will. It is, in part, a projection of yourself. If you find yourself in love with this character you are, indeed, experiencing a deep romance with yourself. Love can only begin in oneself and then flow out into the world in all directions like a radiant sun. Now, you may know what that feels like. Many cheers to you!


You know what's worse than thinking about a character that you're in love with? Well, my story is somewhat different. I'm in love with a real person, that will never know me. I can't reveal his name because he is famous. I'm married & have been for nearly 11 years, but we've been together longer than that. We have 2 girls together. But, every now & then for at least 2 or maybe 3 years I've been thinking about this other guy. Sometimes, I would try to go back in my mind & wished I've met him before & think I was with him more & had kids to him. Don't get me wrong, I do love my husband & my kids I have with him. But, also sometimes, I wish things were a little different.

Oh, me too! Who is it?

Message me.

I am in love with a celebrity too!

You should be writing romance. Start with a blog or just save on word.

I have the same thing with my drawings :( One drawing to be specific. Well, it's many drawings of the same person. I drew him once about a year ago, and I was very satisfied with him from the beginning. Often when I'm drawing I create the character's personality and life around him while drawing and so it shapes the final result. It was the same this time as well. I feel like i know him, which is probably because i created him... but he is just perfect, you know? its hard not to get attached :) And don't worry it's not as mad as you think it is! x) I think it's ok, as it helps you develop what you look for in a guy as well as what it is you need to be happy :)

Just don't take it to some extreme level ;D

I will admit that I go through the same thing. But with multiple characters in my story. Most of them were based on people I really knew in real life, but some of them are completely fictional. Before I fall asleep each night, I lay in my bed and imagine i'm with this person, talking to her, being there for her, being sensitive to her thoughts and feelings. comforting her, being a loving partner and sharing our lives together, even if it is imaginary. There is nothing wrong with doing it. But I can tell you that if you depend on the fantasy too much, you will prevent yourself from having a real relationship.
Because I am disabled and on social security, and slightly overweight, I feel that no woman could be attracted to me or would want me, even though I have so much love to give, she would be worshiped as a goddess and praised for all of her personal qualities because I see that everything about her is good, even her flaws. Because i have this lack of self respect, and continue to dwell on the imaginary fantasies too much, I have not had a relationship in 13 years. I had a few relationships in high school, but they all ended because my abusive and anti-social parents kept getting involved and forcefully ending the relationships. They even lied to my fiancee that i didn't love her and joined the army to get away from her while i was away in basic training, and so she just disappeared.
After this, my entire young adult life, from 23 - 36 (my age now) was wasted on dreaming, and not acting. Despite the fact that I have a handicap and don't have much money, if I ever found a girl that would just come to me and say that she would love me regardless, and love me for my personal qualities that matter in life, instead of the negative things that are material, I would be her's instantly, and I wouldn't have to rely on a fantasy any longer.
You must search for your reality, but keep the qualities of the person of your fantasies as the qualities of what you search for and want in a real lover. Give people a chance. Don't wait until you are too old, like I did, or you will miss out on all that life and love can truly offer.

Without fantasizing about a imaginary person, I think it would be a good idea to make connections with real people. Just smile, say 'hi' and get started. You could meet the person of your dreams- but remember unlike in the fantasy world, they are real and have weaknesses and flaws; may not be agreeable all the time. But you would be able to get on with her because you are a good person.

Thank you so much for your kindness. I will seriously take your advice and be a little more proactive in my social activities, especially dating.

I have had a similar experience with a person who was in a dream I had one night. He was not anybody I have ever met or known, I don't even know anyone who looks like him, but in the dream he was so real it was scary. In the dream we were together and were intimate. It was some of the most beautiful lovemaking you could imagine. I don't know why this would have happened, but you can imagine that waking up that morning was a bummer!
I know this sounds crazy, but it really did happen. I think about that dream and him a lot. It was just so real it was freaky. I guess if I ever happened to meet someone who looked like him, I would probably be dumbstruck. At least now I don't feel quite so crazy....

I get this but the fake phone contact is crossing the line for me. Maybe some counseling is in order.

Really your in love with a blood sucker Jacob is much cuter plus he's Warm not cold like a ice cube I don't like vampires I like Werewolves better

Every girl or boy has a dream one, so it is natural. Dream is not bad but we should be realistic.

I didn't think there was so many people who also did this, I've grown up with my character, he's been with me for 8 years through everything ive been through, I've had real life boyfriends too but he's always there for me.

It is not so different, it strikes me, than holding on to the love of somebody we have lost, to remember details that over the years are memories or just dreams we attribute to memory. If we can love those from whom we are far away, sometimes for a long long time, who is to say what you feel is any less real?

I have the same thing! I turn down any and all possible partners because I see myself as being with my character. No-one can see him but me. He's mine. No-one can EVER take him away from me. We talk all the time, we watch movies together, go everywhere together... you just need to hone your imagination. I manage it and I'm happy. You're not alone in the slightest. Especially on the music video front! Ha ha. I do that.

OK, so it's a little annoying when someone takes his seat on the bus but, hey, he's just a little ... reality impaired :)

That is the cutest way I've ever heard it put. I have those same thoughts. :)

I too am an author, and personally, I am in love with several of my fictional characters!

One of my favorites is a scientist. I don't have a name for her yet, but she has bright red hair, which is always held back in a bun or ponytail. Let's just say, me and her have a "special" writer-character relationship!

When I found this group I wanted to add a story about falling in love with a character I created for a book I wrote. The character was based on someone I knew and I fell in live with him. But after the book was published, I got to spend time with the real man, and he is NOT the man I fell in love with. Thanks for sharing your story. I am amazed how many people share this experience.

I have the same problem. I'm also in love with a fake world I've written for a story; some of it exists in the "here-and-now", but not all in the same place. <br />
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You can't write a story without loving it; you can't make a character that's lovable without also loving that character. It's a sad reality to know they don't exist anywhere but in our minds.

I commented on another post about this same issue. Im a sc<x>ript writer and im in love with one of my characters she's far from perfect but I think making someone perfect ruins the spoils. Shes just perfect in my eyes though even with the flaws. Im glad im not the only one who feels this way.

I do the same way. Because I am so lonely. and I have fake name to . Hang in there . I feel it is ok.

hi there! so i very thankful that im not the only one experiencing such a heartbreaking, never-before felt love in the entire world.<br />
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You see. I have also been inlove with a character that only exists through books. So I really understand what you're going through for Im suffering from the same thing.<br />
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A cheers for me, you and all the other girls out there! Who knowS? Maybe we'll find someone greater than them . :))))

hi there! so i very thankful that im not the only one experiencing such a heartbreaking, never-before felt love in the entire world.<br />
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You see. I have also been inlove with a character that only exists through books. So I really understand what you're going through for Im suffering from the same thing.<br />
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A cheers for me, you and all the other girls out there! Who knowS? Maybe we'll find someone greater than them . :))))

you have just explained my life in just a few simple words. for that, i applaud you. you're not alone, and it's nice to know neither am i.

So am I... I understand your experience.

...Wow. <br />
Madam, you have summed up not only my own life, but I'm certain most of the lives of the members of this group. You are NOT alone in your pain, that's for sure- just know that we're here to support you, we actually understand. I do, at the very least... please, feel free to talk to me any time you like. I have a feeling we have quite a bit in common. *grin*<br />
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For the record, I've added MY love as my opponent in chess on my iPod, and a picture of him and myself as a phone background. I get the adding him as a contact.<br />
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I'm kind of choked up over here, and that does not happen. Ever. Thank you for sharing this- it's really quite lovely.

Awesome though, cause you are not the only one as well! I am also in love with my own creation! A....guy that I created who basically is not even a human (I'm using him as a icon picture right now). He and another guy I have created back in 1997-1999 and they have been around with me and being developed ever since then. Can say they are a life time fictional friend that I will always love. I draw and even write stories about them >XD......It makes me feel even closer to them. It's all a shame that everything has to be fictional! I wish they were real! :(<br />
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That's the only way, draw, write or imagining while you day dreaming or sleeping. But I prefer all of them!!! Yeah, if only they were real, we'd have a blast!

I created a character three years ago and fell in love with him, too. My guy is far from perfect, but I love him. I didn't put a fake phone number in my contact list or forge a signature in my yearbook (I seriously considered doing both), but I gave him an e-mail address, MySpace, and Facebook (summer boredom makes people do strange things).

Wow, thats actually really beautiful and I know what you mean. I too am in love with a fictinal character... =(

How romantic! I think this is a way of love somebody without delusion or being cheated. I like that you put him in your phone!

i am sorry, but in some way it is darn brilliant