A Complicated Circle...

First of all, would like to ask everyone for an excuse for my bad English, it's not my native.
I'll try to be brief in this story:

I've been together with my husband for more than 5 years, relationship has always been decent, he loves me a lot, I do love him back too. He has 4-5 good male friend whom I respect. One of them's 2 years younger than my husband and the three of us got close in the first year of our relationship with my husband. I couldn't stand his friend, I couldn't bear his humor, nor his way of thinking...
There were about 3 years then when the two of them didn't really hang out, spent minimum time together and so on.
I was away for 4 months last year, very hard months without my husband. Then when I came back, the two of them (my husband and his friend) had gotten close again which was a surprise for me. We began spending every weekend together, he seemed like he had changed a lot and I began having normal and friendly conversations with him (actually between the three of us). We would even stay in a place together up to 3-4 am in the morning, something unusual for all of us. Slowly but steadily I began developing another interest towards the guy. I am this type of a person who wouldn't stay calm and silent and a few weeks later I wrote him a message immediately after I woke up from a dream about him, telling him: "I was dreaming. I dreamed about you. Forgive and don't tell". No reaction. That made me fall deeper into my own thoughts about him and I felt I was falling for this friend. In one of our endless conversations about things in life (it was the three of us again) he found a way to tell me what he thought about it all. He said: "You've got to learn that when you want something you shouldn't destroy everything on your way, no matter how hard you want it". He's right and so loyal. Months passed after this conversation and I thought I had forgotten about him even though we've been seeing each other since then, nothing changed in his friendship with my husband. But then I can always feel he's fighting against himself in a way, he's looking for a contact with me. I don't want a relationship or an affair with him. I want the physical thing to happen and that would be it. But I also know there'd be this temptation from his side to actually tell my husband the truth. That's what keeps me away from knocking on his door so far. He sure knows what I want... but what do I do?
He's not amazing, not the most handsome man, not the most intelligent man and my husband is so much better than him but something keeps on dragging me towards this guy. Help me, please.
gldch gldch
Jul 13, 2010