This Is Is the Hardest Thing I've Ever Gone Through

 I have been in love with my best friend for a couple years. We have always been extremely close and my friends always asked if we were dating, or when it would finally happen between us. I always held out hope that it would. Typically when guys and girls are friends, there is always a "next step", usually an attraction develops. We decided to go to college together so I was really hopeful. 

Before we left for college, he told me he had something really important to tell me. We went on a drive and parked at a local school to talk. But he wouldn't talk, he wouldn't tell me what's on his mind. He asked me to guess and he gave me several hints. As soon as he told me he had something to tell me, I knew it was that he was gay. But guessing it was really difficult because I didn't want to be wrong. As soon as I asked him if he was gay, he just nodded his head and completely broke down. He asked me if I liked him, because it would have made it a hundred times worse. Of course I told him I didn't like him like that, because I didn't want it to be worse for him. 

I am the only person he told. He eventually came out to a few other people, including his parents. I thought that as time progressed, my feelings would subside, seeing as we can never be together. But they have just increased. He is my only real friend at college and I spend all my time with him. But lately, my feelings have become too strong and I realized that I need to tell him. I just don't want to lose our close bond because it is what I live for. He is what I live for. It is so pathetic and it shouldn't be this way. I wish he wasn't gay, I really do. I pray every day that he will change but I know he won't. And he is getting closer and closer to a relationship and I feel like I will be put on the back burner. He insists I won't, but I know it's going to happen. 

How do I tell him?

breathingunderwater breathingunderwater
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 8, 2009

First off you should feel privlidged he choose you the first person to tell... You should tell him how you feel in return...But remember that not all stories have happy endings... It may be because a person always thinks they need to have have something so babdly because it is something they can't have...But one thing I know for sure your heart will feel so much better because the wieght is off it.