We Fell Fast. But He's Married.

When we first met, there was something that just struck my heart. I didn't know much about him other then he was my very good griends cousin. A few months later we meet again and hug like we've known each other forever. He said haven't seen you in a while how have you been? Off we were just chattin it up. One of those guys the touch you on the small of the back to leed you through the door. Gosh! Need I say more.
Well no exchange of numbers off to our own little world. When evere there was a gathering I would wonder why he wasn't there. Come to find out the gatherings I missed that he attended he would wonder the same about me. Finally I got a call from my dear friend..his cousin. She said o my god girl your not going to believe who is asking for you and honestly who has a huge crush on you and has been day dreaming about you. I said girl I have no idea! She told me (lets call him (JT). I was in a dead sleep...but at this point trippin like a teenager. I said where is he..she said inside. She said but I have to tell you he's married but has bad pronlems at home. I thought oh...welp here he walked up to my friend and he asked her who she was was talking to..she told him it was me..he asked to speak me. We talked forever and he told me he been hoping to see me again but we seem to miss each other all the time. He got my number from my friend and called me the next day. Few days later we seen each other and the sparks flew. Things transpired and it has become something I never exoected. I figured e few nights out with friends...someone to hang out with talk to and flert...uh no the feelings on both sides the adventures we go on the amazing attention we gave each other the passion the conversations the deep emotional talks about everything including his marriage issues. I even told him stuff he probably didn't want to hear cause I actually stood up for his wife in a conversation. But the talks were real. Even with the extreme passion I took up for her during a talk we had. But I desire him greatly and yes we have fallen for one another. When he told me he has fallen for me harder and faster then he ever expected to and could not help himself from doing it I just cried. Because I felt the same way. He was crying when he told me and I just felt every world he said touch me heart so deep. But my heart feels so heavy now. We were seeing each other about four five days a week. I haven't seen him for a week now but i have talked to do himseveral week now and I'm crushed. I have talked to him several times a day but I think he's at a point that he don't know what to do. He kniws how well he's treated and that we don't argue nit that we wouldn't. Ever he said...its been real between us but all thise years but they pretty much live seperate lives but he enjoys everything we have and feels like a man again instead. of a doormat. and paycheck. I I have been made to feel alive again. And he has brought out a side in me that has been tucked away for a long time'. I want to walk away until he figues out what he's going to do. But part of me don't. Kinda stuck in limbo. I have stopped calling him a good bit. But seems he still calls. I almost want to tell him to make a decision the other part of me don't want to worry about hurting his feelings and move on myself and hope he see's me with someone and realizes he can't live without me. Don't know what to do.
mrright4momsheart mrright4momsheart
41-45, F
Sep 24, 2012