Thought I Could Let You Go, I Was Completely Wrong

inspite of everything, I can't deny how good you made me feel about myself. the beautiful things you said i am about me being strong willed and smart and that i am a force to be recokned , contacting me again after 5 months when i thought i will never hear from you again. true you were hurtful but at least you were always say you were sorry . i may sound naive that i still love you and always have, knowning you kept things from me , but no one could make me feel like i am human the way you did, through you i knew love and how to love , and what it feels to be loved and cared for .
i lived my life not knowng who i really am , living with people who always put me down and doubt my intelligence and made me feel i am stupid because i trusted them. back when we met when you said all those beautiful things about me i thought you were bluffing, but the first time i believed it when i got my job as a teacher and how my Superior admire my work and consult me and ask for my help when they need me . family keep saying i am just being lucky or they are sucking up to me because my aunt is a school supervisor . but you have seen the real me when i never could . 

I need you now more than ever , I wonder if you still care for me . i removed you because you never online anymore . but i cant just ignore the good times we had talking and supporting each other , talking to you enriches my soul and mind and open my eyes to things i couldnt see them before . 

I miss you every single day, but the way you treated me lately was so hurtful , and losing my aunt added it all up . 

it tears me up that you are far away and can't do anything about it . i have no one to talk to , and all my heart wants is to have you back. 

i have prayed to forget you but always end up missing you . because nothing can replace what i have had with you.
you made me feel like a human , like have seen the depths my my soul when my own mother doubted my love for her . 
i never loved any one the way i love you , and god knows better why , because it was pure and amazing . because i know i am made of you . 
yes I feel so jealous that you are with someone , and wish it was me instead , makes me wonder if you love me or think of me , as i love you and think of you. 
i just dont know what to do, and it makes me so hard to breathe that i wont hear from you. I wish you talk to me like the old times 
lonesomedove80 lonesomedove80
31-35, F
2 Responses Aug 29, 2011

well he is busy now doing her , and doesnt care about me anymore , from your story i could feel you are a nice fella yourself. iif you wanna talk about it you can alwats chat with me if you want

It felt like you were saying that to me, I'm that guy in another dimension, such deep meaning to your words.