Quintaslaqrimas

i know many people will not believe what i said, or maybe will not believe in my story. but this is a true story regarding myself. i have never met him, but he is in a special place in my heart.

i am a lonely girl. i have friends who claimed to be my best friends, but i don't feel that way. until one day, God had sent him to me. i knew him from a chat site; wireclub. the first time talking to him, i knew he is a very different guy. we talked a lot even it was the first time we chat. i felt very comfortable to be with him. i dunno why. he, is a brilliant guy with vast knowledge. i know i will never met someone else with equal thinking. even by chatting, i could feel his strong aura.

hours and hours. days of chatting. i never felt it enough. every day, i wait for him to come online. i dont have the answer of how i started to feel something different bout him. it just happened, uncontrollably. everything was fine at first. we even spoke on the phone twice. then, he had to go to brazil and turkey. that was where i started to lose him.

i wait, wait and wait. a month later, he did come back. we talked until 4am. talked bout how his trip was. he said he would go to australia. then, he even shared with me an e-mail. that's how i have his e-mail. the conversation was fine. i didnt see any problem in it. the only negative thing that he said was that site was getting on his nerves. maybe it was a hint?

after that day, until today(5months)..he has not returned. almost every day i log in to that site. wait for him. all the time, he's in my thought. wishing, one day he will come. even tho he wont return my love, it's fine as long as he's there to be my friend. or at least, to see him again and say how i feel towards him. it's painful to carry on this burden, of not telling someone that u love him!

i listen to the songs he likes. i read the books that he mentioned as his favorite. every time i looked at KLCC(malaysia), i remember about him, because he said he can see that building from his house. whenever i go to KL, i wish i bumped into him. i am a lonely girl who wait for the man to come back, again, even just for once.

he is brown university alma mater. some people who graduated from brown will come to give a talk in ISKL, i can attend the event too at first. i believe, this is a sign. a sign that i will meet him one day. but now i cant go there! it's college thingy, so i cant go. later, im going to KLCC. is this also another sign? or is it just my obsession?

i am 18 years old, madly waiting hoping for a 33-year-old bachelor to come back. is this love? i don't know. but i know that i want him. he's always in my heart. i have his number, but dunno if i should call. i have his e-mail, but should i make the move. or should i wait? call me absurd, call me crazy. this is my story. i have no idea if there is someone out there, who also experienced the same thing like me. please reply if there is, for that will make me less lonely.
lilbabyYum lilbabyYum
18-21, F
3 Responses Sep 13, 2012

Hi, i have the same experience but, maybe your experience was better than me. I was like that, but then he said he dasen love me "clearly said" and i cant blame him cos he dasen do anything wrong and dasen do anything to me. all of the problems are located on my self. soo im hurt for sure, well yeah. i always ask why why and why till make me stress and sick. his name is stuck on my head while i know he dasen have it n never experience for i suffer. so i just let it be. Let his name on my head because i have no power to lose his name, and let this feeling. that make me better, the burden is lighter. I tended to be crazy while i tried to forget, cursed him. well darn yeah, just let be. till now on, i have no idea n really dunno why i could love him too much, and how? but i know, that is a love. well yeah, life is a complex thing. just let be and yeah this shall pass. This shall pass. gud luck for yea

hey, i know that kind of feelings,same situation that we have and suddenly i miss him, his the reason why i feel lonely every day. i don't know if he still alive or dead, he said that he will visit me on december but maybe it become faint.. only i trying to do is move on and try to forget him..

Hi. 5 months is a short amount of time. If you have his email & phone number, I think you should make a move quick. If you leave it any longer, you may miss your window of opportunity. This guy likes travelling so maybe you could use that as your starting point?? Just be casual, relaxed and upbeat in your approach. Please do it. Im had a lifetime of letting opportunities slip through my fingers and I live with a lot of regrets and unhappiness. Good luck! Xx