Crushing On Someone Who Isn't Here Feels Pretty Bad.

Not only is relatively far away but also that I've never ever met him. I didn't start writing with him because I was desperate for a boyfriend or something. I did it out of mere boredom, without thinking or considering what might happen. And at first, it meant nothing. It was a long conversation, relaxed and pretty normal. He made me laugh a lot, and we chatted the whole night. It sounds like the cliché "falling in love over the internet" story, and maybe it is. I don't even know anymore. The only think I'm sure about is that I'm getting way too attached to him. And it's no good, seriously. He grew more important to me after some **** his ex pulled with him. Telling me everything, and with me and other (real life) friends supporting him, he got better soon. I think it helped that he didn't have to look in my eyes, that everything he shared was only commented by meaningless words instead of pitying looks. Damn me for saying this, but I really like him, even though he is a pervert and probably a manipulating idiot. But you see, maybe I'm one of the girls that is easily attracted to ********, but one way or another, I like him. I'm not dumb enough to send him naked pictures or something like that, but still ... I'm scared of what I might do or not do while feeling like that. Helpless, lost and completely confused, because maybe, just maybe, I'm only making these "feelings" up in my mind because I haven't been in love since almost a year. Damn it, too much maybe in this text here. No knowing what may happen, insecure about what he thinks/may think about me and unsure about the future. God, I have never ever felt so pathetic in my entire life.
DayDreaming2011 DayDreaming2011
18-21, F
May 12, 2013