Left In Limbo

It started out as what seemed to be just sex for both if us. He was my boss of about 2 years but we didnt know each other that well. I knew he was in a loveless, sexless marriage and i suspected that he stayed in it for his child. very quickly our passion grew into a close friendship and from their into love and an intimacy that niether of us had ever experienced. it's now been three years since i gave him my heart and i am waiting for him to leave her. the issue is not her, it's his child....he's such a wonderful dad! he has talked to a lawyer and seems to be struggling with the idea of only having his daughter 2 days out of 14. it breaks my heart to not have him near me all the time. you envy her for the simple things like watching tv with him every night or going grocery shopping together.niether of them are happy but she cares nore about what people think than happiness. i never question whether he loves me, but i wonder if i'm too accomodating and should be setting some sort of time line.

rekha rekha
6 Responses Apr 22, 2008

i say the sooner u leave him the better it will be for both of you

I think you should ask him if he really loves you. If he doesnt move on get a real man...

I need help! iv been in love with a married man for 2 years and it hurts really bad. but I just cant seem to let him go. he tells me he will leave her someday and that he wants me to be his children's stepmommy. I never ever thought I would fall for a married man but i did. I guess i am a weak person for not being able to let him go but it scares me to think of not having him. which is so psychotic. the sad thing is, is that my life revolves around him. He can make or break my day. my happiness depends on him and that is so embarassing to admit. im scared to focus on my own life because im scared it will push him away and eventually he will just give up on ever being with me all the way. I feel very troubled and I use to never feel this way until he came into my life. He makes me very happy and completely miserable all at the same time.

I'm in this same situation. He has 5 kids and is a very involved dad. His wife threatens to move the kids 12 hours away and "take him for everything" if he leaves. She has been a stay at home mom for 14 years while raising their kids and doesn't want to work (the youngest just went to school this year so she certainly could). I love him in a way I never loved my x-husband. We treat each other with respect, kindness, compassion, and we have so much fun just being together. It doesn't matter what we're doing; if we are home or out, with others or alone...we just have a great time. <br />
<br />
I also know that he loves me, I feel it every moment we are together and through our texts and phone calls. Sometimes I wonder if I'm "settling" for second...but I don't feel second at all. He is my best friend, my soulmate, and my other half. On a daily basis, I talk with him more everyday than I ever talked to my x-husband who I lived with for 20 years! My man and I make every effort to communicate constantly and we understand how important it is to be honest with each other and be able to talk about "us" and anything else that is on our minds. Love and trust at that level doesn't happen very often. <br />
<br />
Funny thing (probably pretty common actually), this relationship started as a purely friends with benefits sexual relationship. The sex was the best I'd ever known...and that has continued!! The funny thing is, as we spent more time together we discovered how much we have in common. Then there were as many "dates" without sex as there was with sex. That's when we fell in love...<br />
<br />
For 13 months he has been there for my good times, my bad times, two surgeries, happy events for my children, putting up my Christmas tree, etc. Bottom line, I love him. I respect his need to be an active, involved dad and I feel badly for his wife...to a degree. Their marriage hasn't been healthy for years, they were even separated once before our relationship and she DID take the kids 12 hours away to where her family lived. They were separated for 2 years. That is why he stayed married, because doing so meant his kids came back home and he can be a dad every single day. <br />
<br />
So here we are, two people who would begin a complete life together today if we could...but instead are enjoying every single day as we are...while at the same time holding on to a hope for the future. And being sure never to take the other for granted. Is this how I envisioned my soulmate? Married to someone else? No, not all. But it is what it is...and we will make it work because WE are worth it.<br />
<br />
Thanks for letting me ramble!

Love is unconditional, just think that, you are giving more then taking. Keep it up.

Wow, your story really hit a nerve. I agree that it is all the little things that she gets to share with him that we're missing out on. I've questioned the timeline myself but when it comes down to it I'm so in love I can't imagine not having him in my life. Keep your chin up. Things happen for a reason.