First Job First Time Falling For A Married Man!

So i'm 18 as of June 2012, I worked at a really small company for about a year before this guy started. I knew he was friends with the directors son but I didn't care. On his first day we had lunch together. He didn't take his car to work so we walked. It was pouring of rain but I didn't care. He was unconventionally cute, Clean shaven, Black wet look hair, Not fat but not skinny somewhere in the middle, Taller than me by a bit as i'm quite petite. Now you have a better idea of him...

I looked like a child standing next to him. He is only like early to mid twenties i'm sure. I never asked because I didn't want to.. i don't know seem like it mattered. I swear though when he spoke about his comic book writing as a hobby i just fell in love with him. I wasn't even interested in comics and all of a sudden I was spending my weekends in town in a comic store, yes they ACTUALLY exist. It was like studying, remebering all the names, dates they came out and sure as hell it paid off.

We would talk about everything after only two weeks of meeting. I knew it was becoming somthing when we would meet after work at the train station and talk for 45 minutes until his train came and then I would walk home. Not that I ever wanted to ask but i am pretty sure he just married his wife because she was pregnant, I heard someone talking about it from his office one day and then she miscarried after they got back from their honeymoon. Don't get me wrong I know he loved her which killed me and I only felt sympathy for the woman but my feelings were so strong.

All i kept thinking was what if we were meant to meet, what if he felt the same way about me.

Anyway had been six months. We were inseperatable in the office with all our inside jokes. I was so looking forward to our Christmas night out on the 15th December just to spend some real time with him with drinks and not feeling weird about talking all the time because everyone did it.

It came and I did look pretty awesome. New dress, hair done, make up, eyelashes nails tan... could go on and on but basically I went all out(never looked fake at all btw). He said I looked amazing at dinner. I made sure we would be put at the same table as I was helping organise the night. I returned the compliment but for the first time I blushed real bad and he noticed. I think he found it awkward but being him he laughed it off and pinched my cheek. Sitting talking about Buffy the Vampire ? yeah that's actually what we done while everyone else danced to caley(if thats how you spell it) music and had a great time. For some reason I couldn't get drunk but I didn't mind. He was a little dazed and I enjoyed that. Seeing him so vulnerable.

It hit eleven o'clock and my jealously and the vodka got the better of me. I didn't mean to but I did and suddenly all my hard efforts to stay cool flushed away as did the last sip of drink in my glass. Yes I asked him about his wife, more specifically I asked him if he loved his wife , BOOOO me !

He looked a little confused and just looked at the table through his drunken goggles. 'Do you notice we never talk about other people, like my wife or if you are seeing anyone' he asked me THAT ! I was freaking out... I just replied that I did notice, I had lost all my sophisticated points now anyway, even though he was the one to bring up the Buffy thing. I could help but laugh nervously after that and he joined in. I said I was going for a cigarette and he said he would join me for air. I thought this is IT, he is going to try something. I smoked my *** and we talked sh it for a while. It was freezing and we never had coats. our arms were pushed up next to each other while I sat and he leaned on a long marble thing.

he asked me what we were doing and I said 'sitting out side like ideots in the cold' I smiled. He was staring at me intensly and it was irritating because I didn't know what he was thinking. I was freaking out !!!!!!!
'Yes' he said. I remember thinking eh what? and just asked him what he meant. 'I do love my wife' He said. I turned away like a child in a huff crossed my arms tugging mines away from him. he laughed and I got even more annoyed.
'Shut up' I snapped at him. My dignity was gone anyway. He asked me what was wrong and I just glared at him and said he knew what was wrong.

I started to cry .. yup it happened .. and the thought of letting him see me cry made it ten times worse. He got really sad after that and hugged me. I just cling to him knowing I would NEVER get that chance again after that night. I kissed his cheek and he pulled away from me. I asked him what was wrong and he started pacing back and forth.
'We cannnn't be doing this' He placed his hand over his mouth. I felt so stupid. I stood up and started walking back inside. My feet were sore in my heels so it was easy for him to catch up.

He grabbed my arm and explained to me that its not that he didn't want to and all that bulll. I snapped back at him that he should just go home to his wife. I wasn't stupid he had been throwing signes at me and I told him that. He made me feel silly when he said that if was just playful flirting. 'You admit that you were flirting with me though' I accused.
He said he did and rubbed him eyes like he was tired. I huffed and started walking away again.

He kissed me. Ran up and just kissed me. It was amazing.
'I'm still married' He said pulling away.
'Well don't be' I moped
'It dosn't work like that' I was so pissed off at this but with the taste of his lips still on mine I didn't show it.
'Well i wont be that girl' I walked in the opposite direction leaving my jacket inside and got in one of the taxis that were already waiting. I cried the whole was home.

I saw him just on new years eve in work. He gave me my jacket back and I kissed him once more giving into temptation at the train station afterwards and that was my last day at that job. I couldn't hurt his wife like that even if it meant me taking the pain. He wouldnt have went through with it anyway. and right now? I am sitting on facebook talking to him about his new comic like nothing ever happened. I dont know how it will play out, if i will see him again but I know his wife will get pregnant and thats going to kill me more than you know..

Thanks for reading all this man its long...
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 10, 2013