He's Leaving Everything to Be With Me

I am 38, he is 60. We met on the internet and after a month of daily and serious chatting, we fell completely in love. He is now leaving everything to come and be with me. I am very scared and excited by it all. Whichever way I look at it, I know I want to be with him. Noone, not my family or friends know about him, so in a month's time, i'll go from being single to living with this man who is 22 years my senior. I know very few of my friends or family will understand or even accept, and I have to be honest and say that I'm not indifferent to this. I've always been attracted to older men, but this is the biggest age gap ever. He is not rich, so no one can accuse me of being a gold digger. We are seriously in this because we want to be together. The problem is, I also want my family and friends to approve and I don't want to live a double life. How do the rest of you deal with this? How do you handles the comments, the stares, the sniggers? I am in need of advice and support. Thank you in advance for it.

DaveKat DaveKat
8 Responses Mar 4, 2009

My boyfriend, who is older than me by 16 years, is selling his buisness to be with me too. He told me that he was waiting for a reason to leave. And now he is going to be moving down here with me and start a new project and move up in our relationship with me. I am very excited :) <br />
I am so glad your happy as well with your man :D

It chirks me up to hear that your story has a happy ending. I dare to hope for my own now.

To all who have left comments on my story, I thought I'd give you an update. A week ago, my man moved in with me. All my fears of how I'd feel when the virtual met with reality have melted. I feel exactly the same now as I did when we were corresponding by internet. He is as gentle as I sensed him to be. Loving, caring, funny. We fit together so well. And I am even more in love now than I was. I am so happy that I agreed to us getting out of the virtual and into reality. Thank you "blissfullyhappy" for you wishes. I know I have found true love at last. To the outside world we are an "odd" couple. To each other, we are "the perfect fit". I'm glad I found this website - it allowed me to discuss my fears with people who have understood and encouraged me. Thank you all. I will keep writing now and then to let whoever reads my story know of my experiences, in the hope that it will aid and encourage others who are in the same situation. God bless you all.

Just do what your heart tells you...everyone will eventually accept it and come in terms with it.<br />
It is your life and you are a mature independent woman capable of making your own decisions...dont worry about the world. Congratulations on having found the true love...you are lucky! it is a rare thing...<br />
God Bless and Good Luck to both of you for a happy and successful life together!!!

@mamma570: thanks for your comment and wishes. I really appreciate all you've said. I have of course worried about what people will think, if he gets ill, etc... but I keep coming back to the bottom line: I love him. Plus I have always been attracted to older men and I know now that I will never (successfully) date men my own age. Life has no guarantees. I know of 2 close friends who are today widows at the age of 33 and 37. One lost her husband to cancer, and the other to a very sudden heart attack that happened in a restaurant. Both men were 36 years of age. Of course older people are more vulnerable to illness, but I'd rather have 1 year of a loving relationship with him, than 20 years of a convenient one with someone my own age. I am not worried about looking after my man if he gets sick - i know he'll do the same for me. As for children, my son is nearly 17, and I'm not tempted to have another one now. My man never had children and I doubt he'll want to start now! You are right about being brave, because that's what it will take to get over people's judgemental looks and comments. But we are the only ones who know what is in our hearts and why we want to be together.<br />
@Renard: thank you so much for sharing your story. I need to hear success stories such as yours, it helps to know that others have gone through the same thing and came through it strong as ever.<br />
@Praxis: so glad we've made your night, we are here for that too lol! hope things are going good between you too. cheers mate! and thanks all for your comments!

and i was feeling awkward about my gf being 12 years my junior. thanks guys / gals, you made my night!!

i am married to a man 26 years my senior. we met when i was 18 and have been married now for 9 years, we have two beautiful children together. my mum and dad were shocked at the beginning but they know now that we love eachother very much and are really happy together. at the start people used to laugh and say is that your dad or to him is that your daughter but now everyone sees us as just another happy normal couple. i have no regrets what so ever go for it

I have to confess, I think i had a problem with this. I have been reading EP members' stories on the topic to examine my own prejudices on the subject. You see my best friend is also in the same situation, she is 40, he is 60. <br />
I guess the inevitable questions arise - what happens if he gets ill, caring/worrying for elderly parents AND a lover cant be easy. What about kids- those already grown, and any you may want in the future? How will family and friends react? So many difficulties but I guess you've already been thinking through all this.<br />
But thankyou for writing this story as it affirms for me that love is unprejudiced, and I should be too.<br />
Be brave and face everyone together, for only this way can you rid the world of illogical preconceptions and be truly free to love openly. I wish you all the best.