I'm In Love With a Sailor, But I'm Scared...

My boyfriend was a "Weekend Warrior" with the Navy Reserves for 6 years. He recently got into the Officer Candidate School (OCS) this month. He was given a week's notice and I was heartbroken. He and I have been together for almost 3 years. We had to jump through so many hurdles from the beginning and have successfully overcome them.  I am just hoping that him being away will not jeopardize our relationship because it will be harder to solve problems when distance is added to the equation.

I have a 9 year old son from a previous marriage and it took a while for my BF to fully believe that he can be with a woman who had a son from another man. My son and my BF are now the closest of pals. He also cheated on me a year and a half ago while I went away to a different country for 4 days. I've forgiven him since, but I have yet to forget just how much it hurt. He's tried really hard in the past year and a half to show me just how much he loves me and constantly tells me that he could never hurt me that way again. I've talked to a few Navy wives who have told me that infidelity is a huge problem for Navy men. Although I'm trusting him again, these stories of infidelity worries me a lot. We've talked about marriage and agreed to tie the knot in 2 years or less... I love him with all my heart and soul... but I'm scared.

I've always been an independent and motivated person. (You have to be when you're a single Mom) I've put myself through college, graduated at the top of my class and now have a very promising career... but the love of my life wants me to be with him, move around with him, share the navy life/experience with him... I'm afraid of having to let go of all I've worked so hard for, for him and the Navy. I'm afraid to let go of everything to be with him... only for him not to be there with me when he has to leave.

I need some reassurance that being a Navy Officer's wife is something to look forward to.

I also need the truth about life in the military... the good and especially the bad. Im desperate for knowledge.

Thank you for your comments and your help in advance.

God bless...

WyMar WyMar
3 Responses Feb 26, 2009

Your welcome. Thats whats great about EP. We all help wachother out. I'm glad you found it. There are allot of lovley women on here. I wish I could say the same about living on base. But it is what you make of it. Ive lived on quite a few camps (bases) and have had my fair share of experiences compared to most on here since my husband and I have been together for longer than most on here. So if you have any questions just ask away and I will do my best to answer them.x

Squadiwife... WOW, you've put my back into prospective. I love the fact that you snapped me back into reality when you mentioned that men in general can cheat regardless of whether they are in the military or not. Here I am analyzing this whole situation as if it were some complicated logic puzzle and you give me the most simple answer that makes all the difference. THANK YOU.<br><br />
I promise NEVER to have my nose up in the air when I become an Officer's wife. I will definitely have my chin up and help other women- regardless of their husband's rank, keep their spirits up as well. <br><br />
My son and I had a long talk about this situation and he is excited about traveling and moving. He's a very social kid who loves meeting new people.<br><br />
I know it's going to be VERY hard- but if I have people like you to chat with... I have all the confidence that everything will be okay.<br><br />

It sounds like you have allot on your mind. Men in the forces do cheat if thats what your asking. But men in the real world do to. My husband cheated on me when we first got together and we worked though it. It hasn't happend since. Being a forces wife is the toughest job in the world but you can make it work if you want to. You don't have to give up your life. But you do have to start over. But if you really love this man as much as you say you do this shouldn't be a problem. But if there is doubt there could be resentments that happen later. Being an Officer wife changes some women into thinking they are better than the people around them in some cases not all. Some of the women wear there husbands rank. There is good and bad with forces life. but I love the security it give and the comfort that we don't have to worry about him not having a job. The moving can be a burden even more so for your son. because of having to change schools often. But one good point is you can get a chance to travel and live in other countrys that you wouldn't have had the chance to. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you chose and if you ever need to chat. I'm here. x