My Prince Charming

When I was six, I had this grand idea of how life would turn out. I would grow up, go to the college my parents attended, become a teacher with long beautiful brown hair and bright blue eyes and be able to woo any many with a flash of my smile. But the only man for me would be Prince Charming (from "Sleeping Beauty").

But life didn't go anything like that. I did grow up, but I moved away for college where I study creative writing and eventually want to go on to a graduate program. I wasn't exactly able to woo many boys and for a while, I thought that the whole love thing wasn't worth even trying. So now we have our down and out princess who decided to make a list of rules required of her significant other. They were the following:
1. No long distance relationships
2. He must be taller than me
3. I would NEVER date a transsexual

I know how closed minded that last one is, but when my ex started "talking to" or flirting with/ "dating" a transwoman it never occurred to me that I would want to date someone who wasn't born in the right body. All I knew was that I was not attracted to women who were born in a man's body. But, I hadn't thought about if it was the other way around.

About two weeks later I met a boy, we'll call him Taylor, that I had known from school but never really gotten to know. We hit it off and then I found out he was intersexed. MIND BLOWN. I wanted to do what the mother in the movie "17 Again" does to Zac Effron's character and poke and prod and pull at his face because he looked so much like a man. Of course, 7 years of testosterone will do that to a person. It was then that I realized that maybe I could date of transman. Just no that transman.

If I've learned one thing from dating, it's stay away from boys with therapists. Better yet, boys who treat their therapists and everything their therapists tell them like it's the word of God.

But when one door closes another opens and that's when I met Seth. Seth (a) lives about 5 hours away from me, (b) is half an inch shorter than me, and (c) is a transman. And yet, I still love him. Love means sometimes having to break your personal rules. Seth is more of a man than any cisgendered man I have ever dated. He is a gentleman who and because of who he used to be, he understands so much more about my life. We can talk about anything and over the past year he has become my better half.

The journey that begins when you realize you're dating a transsexual can be difficult. The questions that flood your brain can be highly overwhelming. I should know. Then there's the questions that you know others are going to ask. My favorites: "Are you a lesbian?", "How do you have sex?", "What about kids?", "Can you get married?", "So he's had all of his surgeries?", "So he's gay?"

No, I am not a lesbian. I characterize myself as pansexual: meaning I date men, women, transsexuals, no genders, gender benders, etc. But you don't have to be a lesbian or pansexual to date a tranman. No, you can be straight. The fact is that most of transsexuals are straight. Being a transsexual is a gender issue, not a sexuality issue. My transman happens to be a little on the bisexual side, but mainly straight. He is interested in women, so no he is not gay, and our relationship is a heterosexual relationship. Of course that leads people that we can get married. But in my state, no we can't. At least not until he gets his gender marker changed. But we do intend to get married, and have kids (***** donors), and the way we have sex, well, that's between us.

I normally ask people why they want to know if he's had his surgeries. It's a common misconception that in order to be a transsexual you have to have already had all of your surgeries, when many opt to only have "top" surgery. I support Seth in whatever decisions he wants to make as far as his body is concerned. What can I say, I love him and not necessarily his body. I want him to be happy.

So there you have it, I am in love with a transman. He wasn't exactly what my prince charming was supposed to turn out like, but, honestly, he's better than any prince charming I ever could have imagined.
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22-25, F
May 10, 2012